I hate being weak. Even though I’m no longer young, I still want to be strong, independent, and able to experience more in life. I don’t want to depend on others, especially when it comes to taking care of my own body.

When I’m sick, I feel like I’m going to die, but I still hope to stay strong and not bother others. It’s so frustrating when I become a burden to others because I feel dizzy or can’t control my body.

After the illness healed, I felt ashamed. Why couldn’t I control myself and endure the pain? Why did I let my illness make me weak?

Not only when I’m sick, but in situations where I can’t speak up or be honest, I also feel weak and harbor anger inside. I am obsessed with being independent in all aspects of my life.

Perhaps being too independent isn’t good. I push myself too hard. It stresses my mind and body. I try living a relaxed lifestyle, but I still demand perfection and independence. This makes it difficult for me to have a joyful life.

I was created to be a strong woman. However, when I’m sick, I have to rely on others to heal my body. I hate that.

I fail to show myself compassion. If my body could talk, it would ask me to be gentle with it. It has worked hard for so long. It’s natural for its strength to weaken.

Perhaps I need to learn how to love myself. In addition to the concept of slow living, I also need to practice self-compassion.