I often feel tempted to share my plans that bring me happiness with my friends and family. I do this to share my joy and satisfy myself. I thought it was acceptable until I realized that by doing so, my plans were slipping further away from being achieved. Now, I am reconsidering my approach.
Am I cursed because I revealed it too early, or is an invisible force preventing me from realizing it? The goal seems to be to frustrate me and make me give up. This doubt often fills my mind.
It’s believed in Indonesian culture that you should not share your personal plans in advance.
Because not everyone is happy with you. Telling it can be interpreted as arrogance.
By conveying personal plans too early, you become easily changed if many criticize and do not support you. You will also feel pressured if the plan experiences obstacles from your side.
I’ve started to realize that revealing personal plans is not wise. It’s better to keep them as surprises. Others will find out once they are accomplished.
What about your culture or perspective on this matter? Do you need other people’s opinions before realizing a personal plan?
There are many things I complain about every day, but the level varies. The most severe level of complaint is when the problem involves feelings. It is difficult to treat and resolve.
Now, I am learning how to put all the displeasure in this life not on my feelings but only on my brain so that I can find a solution.
There is a big difference between the two.
If I put the problem on my feelings, I am filled with doubt, sadness, and confusion. The solution is difficult to find because the subjectivity is very high.
But if I put it in my brain, usually, various solutions will appear to solve it. And I can be more assertive.
What problems do I complain about the most?
The work-related issues involving my staff, colleagues, and boss. Since I spend eight hours a day, five days a week with them, many problems arise. Conflicts are frequently up, and I have to deal with them.
I believe this:
Everyone has their own problems. Never feel that you are alone and there is no way out of your problems.
Not all beauty can be captured by the camera. Do you think this is odd??
That is what I experience whenever I visit Muaro Jambi Temple.
In the heart of a Muslim settlement in Muaro Jambi, there stands a Buddhist temple that is both quiet and graceful. This temple complex covers an area of 4,000 hectares and was once believed to be the largest Buddhist school in Asia. It is likely that students traveled via the river route to reach the temple located on the banks of the Batanghari River.
I have come here several times, and there are progressive changes every time I see it again. The Indonesian government continues to work to rebuild the temple, digging up ruins from the ground and reconstructing under the direction of archaeologists.
This temple is magnificent. However, every time I take its picture, my heart feels despair.
Why?
My camera always fails to capture the temple’s beauty, which is hundreds of times more stunning than what appears in the photo.
The temple complex consists of numerous large and medium-sized temples and many smaller ones. There are 11 main temples, but it is estimated that approximately 82 temple ruins are buried beneath mounds that form small hills.
Yesterday, despite the rain, I visited three temples: Gumpung, Tinggi, and Gedong.
Visitors may need to walk up to 500 meters or more from one temple to another, making it suitable for quiet walks. The area is shaded by large trees and green lawns.
It is still frequently used by Buddhists all over the world who come to participate in significant ceremonies, such as Waisak. This event always attracts many tourists and features a vibrant festival atmosphere.
In my belief, playing the lottery is considered haram. Let me talk about a different and more uplifting topic.
When meeting old friends, the conversation revolves around children, careers, and sharing information about other friends in college or the surrounding environment. For those whose social status is not good, such chats frustrate them. Nothing to tell from their side except the sad and disappointing ones. That is one of the reasons why many people reject reunion parties.
I understand their feeling. Old memories are only good to write about, not to retell, because their influence is not good psychologically. I feel tired after discussing old memories, even though, for others, they might be funny. However, they are different if written down. I can see more clearly from various aspects, learn lessons, and soften my heart.
So, after chatting about family and work, I usually ask what they will do in the future. It is really an interesting topic to explore.
This weekend, I had the pleasure of welcoming two old friends and their families to my home.
My friend, Idy, is working on a concept for a homestay that will be integrated with a poultry farm, focusing on preserving local poultry germplasm. He works as a consultant for a large poultry company in South Sumatra.
Another friend who came the day before, Hen, told me about the community empowerment activities she leads. He is implementing a waste management initiative project integrated with a poultry farm. This activity will contribute significantly to reducing domestic waste, including wasted food, if adopted by the government to be socialized on a large scale.
Reunions like this really leave something exciting and provoke new ideas in my head. I also asked myself, what will I do in the future?
I have such ideals and ambitions; however, they remain discourses. These thoughts are refreshing, beneficial for self-development, and will clearly contribute to the surrounding environment.
How about you? Do you have interesting ambitions for the future (after retiring from working in an office)?
In an interview, the President of Indonesia, Prabowo Subianto, expressed his admiration for the books of Paulo Coelho. Fortunately, I have some of his books and plan to reread them.
One of the books that I keep next to my bed is The Devil and Miss Prym.
Sometimes, books loved by famous figures can spark people’s interest in reading them, too.
Lately, I want to reread my book collection. I have no intention of buying new books. I used to have about 2000 books, and with my sister, I managed a community library. We have donated some books, and I only keep my favorites.
Along with Paulo Coelho’s books, I want to reread novels by Rosamunde Pilcher, who is my favorite novelist.
Ramadhan is coming soon. Muslims are making various preparations so that all the necessities and atmosphere in the household support performing prayers and fasting.
Like many generations that lived in the 1970s, I grew up with a simple lifestyle. Unlike today, when I can easily purchase various necessities for the fasting month—such as basic groceries, instant food, Takjil, and more—during my childhood, most of the cooking and baking for breaking the fast or for Eid was done by my mother, with help from other family members.
One thing that stands out to me as Eid approaches is the hustle and bustle at home as we prepare cookies and traditional foods. My mother was the master and trendsetter for cookies in our neighborhood. Almost all the mothers nearby came over to ask, “What cookies are you planning to make for Eid? Do you have any new recipes? Can I borrow the recipe?” They even borrowed cooking utensils from her.
Nastar, the most popular cookies in Eid (The Lebaran Day)
The aroma of cookies could be smelled in the houses and on the streets, especially a week before Eid. That was the challenging time of fasting for kids. Amid their peak hunger, the smell of baking cakes could make them stop fasting.
In my house, there was a custom that all the children had to help make cakes. At that time, four of us were still in elementary school, and the other 2 were still in kindergarten. So, the 4 older children were the ones who had to help Mom.
My mother would start making the dough in the morning. She wanted the kitchen cleaned first. That was my job. My second younger sibling, Win, and the fourth, Doli, would mold and bake the cakes, while my third younger sibling, Cok, would wash all the equipment.
Mother used all her artistic skills to make cakes. Do you know about Nastar cookies? She molded them exactly like mini pineapples. Dad often told her not to do that.
“Appearance isn’t important. The cake will melt in your mouth in seconds.” He advised. However, my mother ignored him. The cake in the jar should look as good to her as it tasted.
After finishing baking, Cok had to wash all the equipment and plates. However, he often forgot and handed over the task to Doli. I complained to Dad because I felt sorry for Doli. He always replaced Cok’s duties, but it seemed that Dad didn’t care anymore.
Cok was the naughtiest child among us. He preferred to collect all the broken or slightly burnt cakes.
“This is still good for breaking the fast,” he suggested.
Although making cakes was a bit tiring, now I remember it as one of the best moments of my childhood. Through this activity, Mom taught us to work together and instilled cooking tasks were not only for women. The impact was positive. My brothers got used to household chores and now do them in their respective families.
Among my 4 brothers, I really appreciated Doli. He was very responsible in his duties, calm and never complained, and very neat. Before he passed away in 2018, I visited his house. His house was very clean and tidy. In his spare time, he was willing to help his wife clean the house and take care of their children. I think the influence of our parent’s home upbringing has made him a good husband and father.
Cok, the naughty child, has changed a lot. Unexpectedly, he is now a hard worker. Several times, I saw him bathing his children with the patience of a mother.
We once talked about the memories of cooking those Lebaran cakes while laughing. That was the childhood habit that united us, and now, just remembering it makes my heart warm, and missing my siblings.
I hope there will be another chance for us to meet. Maybe at one of our children’s wedding parties. The older I get, the more I miss my siblings.
I once told you that I really like traveling. I think I will do that if I have enough free time.
This week, we in Indonesia are on a long holiday because of the Chinese New Year and Isra Mikraj celebrations, which are national holidays. Since Thursday, I have actually been in Jakarta. I used my time to meet some friends and have a fun chat at a Japanese restaurant.
Me time, chatting with my friends in Jakarta.
In February, I will take leave and plan to visit my youngest son in the neighboring province, Riau, and continue my journey to my birth province in West Sumatra. I will encounter many interesting things on my trip. I’ll tell you, wait, yeah?
If I was at home, I used my time to garden, clean the house, and write. I usually burn aromatherapy fragrances so that our living room becomes more pleasant.
The campaign to not buy clothes for one year is active on social media. I applaud a girl who admits she hasn’t bought new clothes in five years. How strong she is, not tempted to buy new clothes amidst the many promotions for clothes from famous designers and online shops.
I take some time to reflect on myself. At home, I have a cupboard full of clothes. I didn’t realize I had accumulated—pants, shirts, and more. I only wear a small portion of them regularly. The others were purchased because of my consumerist appetite.
I never realized how my buying habits wasted money and the world’s resources. Do you know how many resources are required to produce a single piece of clothing?
Apart from raw materials such as cotton and wool, to make the clothes, you also need electrical energy to drive machines, water to wash, process, and dye materials, labor, and technology. In the production process, air and water pollution will occur around the factory and produce waste.
Indeed, the waste caused by a single person may seem insignificant. But if hundreds of millions of people engage in wasteful practices, the total amount of wasted resources becomes substantial.
I want to change my wasteful habits gradually. I’m not a fashionable person who believes that clothes enhance my beauty. This change is manageable.
What about you? Ready to take on the challenge of not buying clothes for a year?
Hey guys. Have you ever tried a new habit that made you feel better instantly?
I just experienced it, and I feel blessed.
Recently, I have been developing a new routine of taking a shower shortly after waking up. I shower right away (around 4 am) and then take wudu for the morning prayer.
After doing this routine for a few weeks, I feel a change in my spirit. The burden unconsciously carried in my sleep seems to disappear, and I am ready to welcome the new day.
I don’t mean to imply that this routine will work for everyone. But we should refresh ourselves by trying out or embracing new activities that resonate with us. There is a wealth of information available that can help us choose what might be a good fit.
Actually, previously, I was a conventional woman in general. I did the same routine for years. Until one day, I felt very bored and wanted to quit my job.
Alhamdulillah, I didn’t make that decision. (I still need money, hahaha). Instead, I took several online courses, including making herbal soap, environmental educator courses, registering to write an anthology book, etc.
After adopting a new routine of taking a shower early in the morning, I feel fresher and calmer.
Guys, have you thought about doing new things lately?
I would love it if you would share your experiences.
I once asked my late mother what my first name, Asnelly, meant. She said she didn’t know.
Your father came home one day and said his first child would be named Asnelly. He was sure a baby girl would be born, not a baby boy.
I was my father’s favorite child. I remember the moments we spent together to and from school. He bought me a cute bag and cookies for my lunch box. He took me to the beach to walk on the sand and listened to stories about my activities at school.
The name Asnelly is rare, unlike Rini, Dewi, or Siti, which are very common in my city. But I like my name. It’s a beautiful and soft name. My last name, Daulay, adds to its uniqueness.
Thanks to the advancement of search engines. When I checked the meaning of the name, I felt that it fit my personality quite well.
She (Asnelly) tends to lead with authority and is always looking for adventure. She is very interested in life and has an independent nature. This person also speaks frankly and is physically attracted to others.
The name is a prayer. Hopefully, the good things in the meaning of my name will come true.
my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections 