Cry. The negative emotions may be released more quickly, a way for healing. That’s the common suggestion to release from the negative emotion.
However, that doesn’t apply to me because I tend to overthink and find it difficult to cry.
I will do this to get rid of negative feelings:
Writing a journal or diary, spilling all my frustration, and analyzing it as detailed as possible. My writing can be up to 3 or 4 pages. On the final page, I usually find the insights. What I experienced was not very bad. Happen in anyone’s life. Don’t be exaggerated. I also began to forgive the one who bothered me.
Taking care of plants, replacing the pot, adding soil, or cutting yellowing leaves.
Doing household chores, followed by a nap, often leaves me feeling lighter when I wake up. A cup of tea or coffee and a slice of cake would make me feel fresh again.
Each person has a unique way of adapting to negative feelings right. How about you, friends?
One memorable activity during my studies in Australia was shopping for second-hand books in the courtyard of the University of Queensland. The flea market there was known as Wednesday Market. That’s the hunting place to get lower prices for books, fresh flowers and food.
The place was a favorite of all students. I can still clearly remember the atmosphere every Wednesday. Dozens of stalls with canvas tents stood, selling books, flowers, sketches, ceramic and wool dolls, etc. On the side of the road were lined with Jacaranda trees for shade. Its lavender-blue flowers were scattered on the road throughout April to August.
As foreign students with limited pocket money, we had to be frugal while pursuing our passion for exploring many places and gradually collecting souvenirs to bring back to Indonesia.
Shopping here felt like an extravaganza for me. I enjoyed walking around the booths and choosing classic novels, history books, and other things that took my attention. I didn’t invite anyone to join me, in worry that my concentration would be divided when choosing books.
Over the course of nearly a year and a half, I collected a substantial number of books. I had to pay for cargo rental to bring them back to Indonesia, which I cost-shared with friends with the same interest.
The books only cost me 5 cents, or at most 1 dollar, but I felt very lucky to have them. They are my precious collection.
One day, my son gave me a quiz and asked me to answer the questions honestly. The quiz would show which animal has the same character as my personality.
The answer came out in the blink of an eye. Deer.
I was described as a person who was very concerned about the comfort of the soul. If something disturbs me, I would be restless and want to escape. This description was similar to the nature of a deer.
Whether I like it or not, I agree with the quiz’s results. Yes, that’s right. Environmental comfort is the most important thing for me.
I can’t be indifferent. In a bad situation (especially ignoring norms of propriety), my body would absorb the negative aura, and the accumulation would torture me.
I hope you can enjoy this morning’s brightness without complaining. Look at how shady the Ketapang tree is and the birds chirping on it. You can also see the dove orchid growing sticky on its trunk. Can you smell its soft scent?
How is your back? Sore and stiff? You can’t straighten it anymore?
Hmmm, I understand your suffering. I feel it, too. No one can escape back pain in our age. Back pain won’t kill us, but boredom.
You look so content, surrounded by your children, daughters-in-law, and cheerful grandchildren. Your patient and humble demeanor inspired your family to love and connect with you.
You have enough funds for your old age care; there’s no need to burden your children. You are also a constant donor for community activities. You have all the qualities to live comfortably in your elderly.
I am sure God loves the old guys who are not fussy like you.
Enjoy your morning on the porch while sunbathing so your bones are strong and your skin is not too pale. Don’t forget to drink tea and health supplements.
The shopping spree is no longer a pleasure. I have been away from it for a few years. I feel it is a waste of time, giving me only a momentary pleasure. I now live a slow life, where simplicity is an integral part of it.
Are you familiar with the economic concept known as the Law of Diminishing Returns? I apply this concept to remind myself to be more economical. How can I interpret this law to help control my shopping habits?
I use the analogy below:
If I bought a classy and expensive dress for the first time, my pleasure was expressed as 100%.
When I bought a second dress, did my pleasure become 200%? No, my pleasure might only reach 170%, a decrease of 30% in pleasure for the second item I bought.
And so on. The more I shopped, the less pleasure I felt. I lost, right? My money was reduced. I gave it to the boutique owner.
When I heard the law of diminishing returns, I related it to my own experience. True, pleasure decreases as things become easy to achieve or I have more stuff.
If you want maximum pleasure, choose one thing that you need and love the most. Guaranteed, your pleasure will reach 100%.
You may have a different opinion about this topic. It’s interesting to hear your side.
Referring to Islamic values, Ridha means a sense of satisfaction or contentment with the will of Allah. My parents certainly did not choose that name randomly. They did it with purpose. The name is prayer.
They wanted me to be a sincere woman. Their daughter’s life would be full of twists and turns; as a woman as well as the first child in the family, she was expected to be able to guide her younger siblings.
A “perfect sense of contentment” is too idealistic, right? However, that is my struggle as a human being. That sense of contentment naturally goes up and down.
Oh yes, the name Ridha is quite common in Indonesia. It would be interesting if there was a survey to see if the name helps its owner spiritually to develop a sense of satisfaction in his life.
Since a name is a prayer, it should have an impact on the owner of the name.
Failure teaches many lessons. There are several things one could learn from the failures that happened in life:
Failure makes man wiser and more mature. Not everything can be achieved easily. Even though everything has been well prepared, it still fails. However, if you look around, many people experience the same, even worse conditions.
Failure may mean that the thing you dream of is not destined for you to have. The Qur’an says:
“Perhaps you dislike something good for you and like something bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.” Surah Al-Baqara : 216
That’s why we asked Allah for guidance for the best.
Failure teaches you that you are not perfect. Above the sky, there is still the sky. This recognition can help you to become a humble person and continue to improve your quality.
Marriage is a journey that teaches me many lessons and inspires me to keep growing, I entered this stage of life at 24 as a woman who was innocent and had limited experience with men.
My husband was the first man in my adult life. I only knew the character of a man like my father who was patient, generous, and loving to his children.
I had never taken a marriage course, and at that time, it didn’t seem necessary. I viewed marriage as just a part of life—what was there to study? Hahaha… how naive I was, right?
I was optimistic, thinking my life would be perfect with no fights and no sadness. But reality slapped me.
My man was not as I imagined. My husband has a different nature from my father. That became a source of disappointment for me. I felt like I was being cheated on raw.
Indeed, we never talked seriously about how to manage a marriage, how to manage finances, and the children who would be born. My husband imitated his father’s figure, while I considered my father as my ideal man. It was a heavy blow that shook the household for years.
I am not alone. Many married women around me also complained about the pressures of the differences in views in managing the household between husband and wife. In my time, divorce was a shameful thing. We had to maintain our household even though there were many disputes.
Reflecting on my life, I am grateful to be able to survive in marriage.
Oh..but you suffer, do you?
Maybe that’s someone else’s comment who doesn’t know the journey my husband and I went through until we reached 30 years of marriage.
Yes, there were times when I suffered from accepting my husband’s character. But he also experienced the same thing. Who knows whose burden of suffering was the heaviest. Only God knows.
Marriage is not scary.
We received a valuable gift from our patience in nurturing our marriage. Our two children have grown up in a normal and happy family environment.
I also had a chance to school and develop professional work. I can build myself without the shadow of my husband. Marriage has many sides, the fun and the not, the boring and the exciting. On the whole, more positives than bad ones.
Both struggle and destiny shape a person’s future. I believe this not only because of cultural or religious teachings but also because I have experienced it myself.
For approximately 40 years of my life as an adult, I have learned how to work, study, and adapt well to the surrounding environment. In some cases, I was able to achieve the expected results, but in others, I failed. Destiny is the determining factor.
Destiny plays a role in determining the results of efforts, but it also plays a role in other things. For example, meeting someone I had not planned changed my views or decisions about something.
I believe that humans cannot fully define their true selves. The combination of excess personal traits, opportunities, varying environments, and other unseen factors influences their direction in life.
In Islam, there is good advice about struggle and destiny.
Develop the mindset of Tawakkal in you. Tawakkal means surrendering all affairs to Allah SWT after trying your best.
Tawakkal will empower you, restoring your energy to fight and instilling the belief that a better fate awaits you somewhere in the future.
To all my friends fasting this month of Ramadan, I wish you the best of luck. Have a great weekend, all my readers.
There was a time when I was busy with myself. I discussed everything I saw and felt with myself and wrote it down in a diary. It happened during my teenage years, especially in high school.
That was the time that I still remember with longing.
After that time passed, or during my time as a university student, I entered a new phase of life. I was asked to fulfill some new norms.
While I needed to meet high academic targets, I also had to adjust to people from different regions, considering their opinions to be perceived as friendly and sociable. Additionally, my parents were very protective of me, as they feared I might become involved in unhealthy relationships.
If I had been left to grow up alone as I did during my teenage years, maybe I would have become a different and unique person. However, I grew up in a strict Eastern culture. I was forced to obey social and family rules that made me sacrifice some of my freedom of thought and behavior.
I’m sorry, my friends; I always feel sentimental whenever I remember it.
Yet, I accept the life I lead and do not have any regrets. I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to be a better person. Despite facing limitations, I managed to navigate all phases of my life well. I draw wisdom from every experience I encounter.
my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections 