I would choose to be myself by highlighting all my best qualities. Even if it were just for one day, it would be wonderful to experience being a good person and to see how the people around me respond to this new version of myself.
How would my siblings respond? Would they respect me more and listen to my advice?
How would my colleagues at work react to my change in attitude and perspective on the problems we face together?
I also want to explore my feelings. Would my soul be more peaceful, and I could see this world from a beautiful side?
Becoming the best version of myself, even for one day, would answer the question that has been bothering me all this time: if I had the best qualities, would my luck skyrocket?
I want to write a book of life reflections based on my journey as a woman, wife, mother of two, and office worker. I have learned many lessons from my life. Sharing the story with family members or others would be interesting.
The better way is through writing. It can reach many people. Yes… I want to write a book that is good in terms of content. The design and illustrations I make myself as well.
Regarding the content of the writing, many interesting issues I can write about. How to make the layout and illustrations of the book? That is the problem. I don’t understand at all. However, there is an application for that.
Well, I will learn more about this. Maybe by subscribing to the Canva, and I follow the steps. Or by taking a short course.
Pray that I can realize my DIY book… thank you, my friends.
I want to live a peaceful life without any more challenges in the future. Challenges arise when humans consider it as something that must be conquered.
So, I will try not to consider anything as a challenge but something I must harmonize with life.
If I have something I want to achieve, I refer to it as a goal. I do not pressure myself to accomplish it 100%. Achieving even part of it is already an extraordinary blessing.
Character formation begins in childhood, but from my experience, the strongest character formation occurs in adolescence.
As a teenager, I was quite introverted but not rebellious. I shifted from one who spent lots of time playing to a teenager who played less and focused more on my studies. While this shift was beneficial academically, it made me less skilled at building friendships and social connections.
I was easily offended, and that carried over into adulthood. Many of my friendships ended in cold wars. Friends ignored me, only came when they needed help with their lessons, but did not include me in their circles.
Now that I think about it, that attitude was detrimental to me.
Why couldn’t I have been more flexible?
I shouldn’t have been so extreme, even though they acted that way. After all, not all aspects of their personalities are bad. I could still find ways to benefit from them, such as enjoying their swimming pool, tasting their cakes, or having them give me a ride home. I realize now that I had very little playfulness in me, which made me vulnerable and easily hurt.
That feeling is still there today but has diminished significantly.
If I could go back in time, in addition to studying hard and developing my interests, I would also develop my ability to build friendships and networks. I would control my inhibiting emotional traits.
If you are bored because of the atmosphere in one place, it must be easy to go out and find a new atmosphere. Boredom will come quickly, especially at an older age, when the activity is the same. Some experts suggest that we should not do the same activity every day. Do something new. Walking around the house, looking at flowers and the green grass, or saying hello to people you pass on the street can eliminate boredom.
What if the person making you feel bored is someone close to you, like a family member or a friend? It can be challenging to deal with that, right? For instance, a senior family member or a close friend who constantly talks about the same topic. They frequently complain or tend to brag about their achievements. It can be tedious.
On my list, the activity that makes me the most bored and trapped is engaging in conversations like this. I have to restrain myself from ending the conversation due to ethical considerations to protect the feelings of my older family member.
Yet, I must be prepared. I am getting older, and I may tend to change. I won’t let myself be boring, and my grandson says, “Grandma, why are you so talkative?”
My life has been too serious lately, so the people who approach me are the same type. I want to refresh my mind. I really want to be friends with people who are funny but have good moral values and are committed to maintaining them.
My friends, whom I love to be around, should not be flirtatious. I appreciate those who believe in religious values, kindness, and sincerity and who like to share life experiences in a light-hearted way, along with their funny character.
Are they male or female friends? I prefer female friends, just to be safe. My husband won’t be jealous, hahaha. But it seems rare because there are many women like me. Seriously.
Choosing friends is not a simple matter. That relates to your soul. I often include this topic in my prayers. That God will give me a good and pleasant garden. Good friends are a blessing, you know?
Sorry, but the best gift I ever received was a gift I gave to myself. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gifts other people give me, but over time, they give me things I don’t need.
They may give me expensive and niche gifts, something from abroad or a faraway place, but they’re not things I need. I’m only happy for a moment, then I put them away somewhere until I forget.
I appreciate things that I can use every day. Things that look sophisticated or too stylish but can’t be used for everyday purposes end up in a corner of my house.
I like these types of gifts:
Mukena or clothes for prayer
Cosmetics, especially facial serum and lipstick
Biscuits, crackers, dark chocolate, or foods that are low in sugar and carbohydrates
Flowers, especially types I don’t have or rare plants.
Unwanted gifts can lead to unexpected conflicts. You must address this issue honestly and thoughtfully, so don’t overlook its importance!
Once, my husband gave me a pair of high heels. The model was elegant. But I never wear high heels. It was difficult to explain that his gift didn’t suit me.
If I didn’t wear the shoes, my husband would question me. However, if I forced myself to wear them, they would hurt my feet. Eventually, I asked his permission to sell the shoes to my friends and use the money to buy a new pair.
Although disappointed, he agreed. It was a moderate way to solve this problem.
The journey won’t always be easy, but in the journey, we grow and change.
I just returned from an 8-day trip, starting from Jambi City, Pekanbaru, Siak, Bengkalis, Duri, Bukittinggi, Padang, and back to Jambi. That was not an easy trip for me and my husband.
How is my feeling right now? I feel confused. My trip started with explosive joy, but now my mind is full of many thoughts. I need to think and digest everything slowly.
I have experienced this type of fatigue before. This is part of my process for digesting information, which I will use to improve my life in the future. Below are the results of my reflections over several days of the trip:
My siblings, relatives, and the people I meet seem to be getting older and losing their joy in life. Their enthusiasm has been replaced by calmness or resignation, and they appear more tired. Perhaps I look that way to them as well. Am I?
The people I met showed a greater interest in waiting to hear other people’s perspectives. Unlike before, we no longer competed to share our life experiences first.
Meeting children and siblings that I initially thought could ease my anxiety has turned out not to be entirely true. Secretly, something got in and disturbed my mind, such as the lives of my children or my nephews in the future. Can they solve their problems well, not get frustrated easily, and not go crazy?
It seems that my nurturing side as an older person is exaggerated. This is dangerous, I think.
There are still many things that I have to digest slowly. I will get through this and find peace. I hope.
My mother was very creative with household matters. Her cooking was delicious, and her Lebaran cakes were famous throughout the neighborhood. She also enjoyed making handicrafts.
She was very diligent when she was my age. Even though we lived in different cities, I often asked her for help with cooking Rendang and Dendeng, which she would send to me in Jambi. While I can cook Rendang myself, her version is much more delicious.
I was a teenager when she asked me to make a hand-embroidered pillowcase, my first project with my mother. The pillowcase still existed far after she died. I am proud to have done that in between my duties and completing my education.
Although her education only reached the junior high school level, she diligently acquired skills by herself. My sister and I often joke that our mother was more clever than our father, who was a college graduate. It’s just that she didn’t have the same opportunity to attend college as he did.
It was my mother’s intelligence that was passed down to me. Thank you, Ma.
For some people, possessions are not for their own enjoyment. They might give them to others without thinking twice. They don’t expect anything in return or gratitude.
I refer to Sultan Syarif Kasim II of Siak Indrapura. I visited his palace during my trip for a reunion with my brother.
This sultan is known in Indonesian history for donating 13 million gulden to the Indonesian government at the beginning of independence.
His sense of nationalism must have been very high. However, was there another reason behind his decision?
This sultan inherited wealth from his father, the previous sultan. I saw the remains of the palace and luxury goods purchased from mainland Europe, especially the Netherlands, Germany, and France. In the early 1900s, only very wealthy families could bring in goods from abroad.
This sultan had no children as heirs. Perhaps, for this reason, he donated some of his wealth to the Indonesian struggle at the beginning of independence.
Another thing that convinced me that he no longer wanted wealth was that he also gave a crown full of diamonds to the Indonesian government in addition to the 13 million gulden and declared his sultanate was under the Indonesian government.
No sultanate in the world is quite like the Sultanate of Siak Indragiri, which willingly declared its submission without making any offers or seeking a bargaining position. The sultan even threw the key to the royal safe into the river to avoid any potential conflict within the family over the money and gold stored inside.
In his old age, the king lived a simple and quiet life in his palace. Long after his passing, the people of Siak continued to speak his name with great respect. Even I, not being from Siak, felt a sense of awe when I entered the old palace.
Those who have achieved a certain level of spirituality view money and wealth as ordinary aspects of life. Wealth is merely a tool, not the purpose of existence.
my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections 