my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections

Instinct = Something Bad Will Happen

November 19th, 2025

Daily writing prompt
Do you trust your instincts?
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Not always. In fact, I have a negative perception of instincts. They give me a feeling of fear before something actually happens. Trusting them too much can be mentally damaging. I prefer to fight my instincts by praying to Allah to prevent them from happening.

Instincts often come to warn people of bad things, not to whisper the arrival of good and beautiful things. That’s why I dislike them. Everything should happen naturally, without the alarm of something called instinct.

In my life, I’ve had instincts that something bad was coming, but at the time, I had a hard time predicting what it was. For example, when my mother was about to die a few years ago, I had an excruciating headache. I asked my husband to pull my hair to ease the pain. After receiving news of my mother’s death in the middle of the night, I realized that the headache and discomfort I felt were related to her death.

Perhaps that’s also why I resisted my instincts. I was traumatized by my mother’s death.
How Can Pleasant Scents Improve Your Mood?

November 15th, 2025

Lately, I’ve become very fond of two essential oils: lavender and eucalyptus. Before bed, I put a few drops of lavender essential oil on my pillow. While waiting for sleep, I enjoy the scent and let my feelings sink into a happy, comfortable state. I often use eucalyptus when I’m feeling under the weather, whether it’s a headache, bloating, or the flu.

This habit is a recent development. Previously, I preferred perfumes with rich, expensive scents. The more expensive and unique the scent, the more prestigious it felt. I used essential oils only to freshen up my living room or bathroom. Meanwhile, I rarely used eucalyptus. I considered it to be an oil for older people.

This habit has just now become part of my daily life. Both eucalyptus and lavender provide a calming effect that perfume or other fragrances can’t. Their scents are deeply ingrained in my soul. Now, they’re a regular item on my shopping list.

In fact, I’ve long been a fan of natural scents derived from plants. In my front yard, I planted ylang-ylang and eucalyptus trees. I cut the ylang-ylang flowers, which have a strong scent, and the eucalyptus leaves, and put them in small bags. They create a fragrant aroma in my living room.

I live in a hot-weather city, and there aren’t many fragrant plants/flowers here. How fortunate you are to live in an area with so many fragrant flowers. I can only imagine how cheerful your mood will be among such plants.
NOVEMBER IN ME

November 9th, 2025

August, September, and October have just passed. These are the hottest months in my region, with frequent risk of land fires and worsening weather. In November, it rained, not heavily, but enough to cool the earth.

Many say November doesn’t bring many conveniences. We’re suggested to continue what we’ve been doing, tending to our work, but never asking for more. But I won’t dwell on that. At my age, what more could I want than good health and an abundant livelihood to meet my daily needs?

While mowing my small garden, I remembered how God has blessed me thus far. He’s allowed me to have a family with two intelligent sons, pursue higher education, and earn an income that exceeds the standard of living.

My life has indeed become increasingly lonely. I don’t have friends because I’ve been busy with my own independent activities outside of office hours. That’s my own choice, coming from within. I can join a group of women my age in my neighborhood. I’ve tried socializing, but I haven’t gained anything spiritually and even feel uncomfortable. At home, I can do everything alone, stay productive, and it can improve my mood.

This November, the weather is still hot outside. It rains occasionally, and the air cools down for a while. December might be like that, too. Continuing to live as I did yesterday is a choice, one I wholeheartedly embrace. In it, I find happiness and serenity, even if I sometimes feel tired. Such is the life of those who choose their own environment, hiding from the crowd.

Actually, I have a few friends I’d like to contact, but I’m hesitant; they might also want to be alone on the weekends. I don’t like to bother them, even if it’s just by calling or inviting them to meet and chat at a cafe. I assume they’re like me, even though our tendencies are unlikely to be exactly the same.

One more thing, it’s hard to leave the house once I’ve entered it. There’s a strong magnet here. My home is a nest where I feel both comfortable and bored.

Have you ever felt bored alone at home but didn’t want to go anywhere else or change yourself to be more open to a different atmosphere?
MENIERE’S

November 4th, 2025

I received confirmation from my doctor that the vertigo I’ve been experiencing for almost three months is caused by Meniere’s disease. In addition to vertigo, patients with Meniere’s disease also experience a ringing sensation in the ears, known as tinnitus.

Meniere’s makes me extremely weak, and I lose my enthusiasm for life. The dizziness comes suddenly while I’m at work or wakes me up in the middle of the night because my head is spinning. I usually vomit and have diarrhea. It takes hours for the dizziness to go away. Afterward, I feel exhausted and can’t do anything but lie down and sleep for the rest of the day.

I’ve been diligently checking with my doctor and taking medication, but nothing has helped. I’ve also changed some of my daily habits that trigger the condition, such as drinking less coffee. When I asked the doctor why no progress, she just suggested taking medication and trying to rest.

It’s incredibly frustrating. With no significant progress after two months of treatment, how can I rest? I discussed this with my son, and he suggested I seek a second opinion at a hospital in Malaysia, our neighboring country. My youngest son supported me and agreed to take time off work to go there.

Finally, we went. The three of us—my husband, my youngest son, and I—arrived in the small town where the specialist hospital is located. The hospital correspondent came to the port to pick us up and take us to our hotel. The service was truly excellent. I received invaluable support at a time when my body and mind were weak.

It didn’t stop there. The next morning, we were picked up and taken to the hospital for several tests. My husband had a general examination, while I met with a specialist. All the necessary tests were performed from morning until noon.

I can tell you how refreshing everything was at the hospital. The rooms, the doctors, and the paramedics—there was no rush of patients like I’d experienced in my hometown. Everything was very calm here.

The situation was a stark contrast to what happened at the hospital in my hometown. There were usually more than 20 patients in line, the doctor was often late (she also worked at another hospital), and the nurses called out in a high-pitched voice over the noise in the waiting room. It’s no wonder the doctor wanted to send every patient home as quickly as possible. If a patient asked a lot of questions, she would rush to answer. Whether I was satisfied or not with the answers was up to me.

In the Malaysian hospital, the doctor explained my illness in great detail. I took as much time as I needed. He always smiled and understood my suffering. If hospitals in my country were like that, many Indonesians would certainly not choose to travel abroad for treatment.

I’m currently still undergoing treatment. I have strong hopes that I will recover. If you’re sick and feel like no cure is effective, your mental health will definitely suffer. That’s what I felt some time ago.
Slow Living Without Sacrificing Your Well-Being

November 1st, 2025

Every time I see posts about people practicing Slow Living, everything seems so beautiful and serene. A simple, quiet home, surrounded by lush, natural surroundings, like a miniature paradise.

When I tried to achieve it, it felt different. Difficulty after difficulty arose. These challenges made me wonder and feel anxious: Can I live slowly without sacrificing my well-being and family?

To be honest, living without experiencing luxury requires strong determination. Although I grew up in a modest family, my parents wanted their children to be wealthy. The dream of a comfortable life was deeply ingrained in my soul. Now I have to abandon it and replace it with Slow Living? It’s not that easy, Friend. It’s easier to follow the trend of pretending to be rich than Slow Living.

Slow Living requires special preparation. You should no longer worry about electricity and gas bills, or healthcare, because you have sufficient funds to pay.

A deep talk with my son after praying

You don’t have to worry about paying for plane tickets whenever you want to visit your son or simply enjoy a vacation abroad. You don’t expect financial assistance from others or family.

Slow living doesn’t mean living in poverty. In Slow Living, what you need to control is the desire to show off, live excessively, or compete with others.

People who live slowly absorb life’s experiences deeply, savor their sweetness, and harness their energy to thrive in a world full of controversy and confusion.

I share this because, in my journey of slow living, I’ve found enlightenment. Slow living is a choice; you choose it pleasantly. Not because you are cornered by life.
SEEING THINGS FROM THE PLEASANT SIDE

October 29th, 2025

Daily writing prompt
What does it mean to be a kid at heart?
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I feel like my life is getting flatter. Not because I live in poverty or violence, but because of my habit of taking life’s events seriously.

Being a child at heart shouldn’t be limited by age. It depends on how you respond calmly or joyfully to whatever happens in life, or how you see it from a joyful perspective. Now I’m training myself to do that.

It’s not easy. I admire you, the cheerful person. Even if you’re not beautiful or have an ordinary appearance, your pleasant aura evokes joy in others. You’re less likely to hurt others. Conversely, someone who’s too serious, with a frown or a sharp gaze, might unintentionally hurt others.

To realize my intention to be a child at heart, I’m changing some cynical habits. I’ve stopped making blunt comments. I keep my personal views about others to myself. Let my enemies be happy because I smile at them.

I also often mock myself after speaking curtly. Curtsy is reserved for old or unhappy people. A child doesn’t know that. People whose hearts are happy will not be cynical of others.
Life Without Rice: Never Imagined

October 27th, 2025

My parents fed me rice from the time I was a baby. At just six months old, I learned to chew rice. Many snacks from my past were also made from rice, like chicken porridge or cookies. I never imagined that one day I would have to learn to stop eating rice.

Now I’m on a journey to completely stop eating rice. Imagine. For almost 55 years, I’ve been inseparable from rice in my daily diet, and now rice is gone from my menu.

My determination is very strong. If I don’t stop eating rice now, I will get sicker and worse. The doctor who treated my illness (I was diagnosed with Meniere’s, a type of severe vertigo) advised me to avoid salty, oily, and fried foods and side dishes. The truth is, salty and fried side dishes are synonymous with rice. To follow the doctor’s advice, I also have to stop eating rice.

Furthermore, my weight is no longer ideal. No matter how diligently I reduce my food intake and exercise, my weight doesn’t decrease. My movements have become sluggish and very lethargic as I age.

Now I’m replacing rice with tubers like potatoes, sweet potatoes, or bananas. So far, it’s been working without too many problems. I was worried about starvation during the diet, but that hasn’t happened very often.

Thanks to the advancement of processed foods in Indonesia, there are now many low-calorie substitutes for food. Foods other than rice are also available in many places at affordable prices. You can buy a bunch of bananas or 1 kg of potatoes for just IDR 15,000 (about US$1). I also bring two boiled eggs as a backup in case I can’t find food on the go.

How does it feel after two months of not eating rice and fried side dishes? My body feels lighter, my sleep is more restful, and my breath is fresher. I’m also eating lots of fruits and vegetables. I used to hate milk, but now I try to drink it regularly because my bones need it to prevent osteoporosis.

It’s simple, but I feel like I’ve made significant progress at my age. I’m happy to finally be taking care of my body, which has been suffering for so long.
Hi, This is my Aromatherapy Soap

October 1st, 2025

Hi, I’m back. It’s been over four months since I blogged. Many things prevented me from writing. I was also experiencing boredom, which was stressing me out. Thank God, after much reflection, I’m back.

For the past few months, I haven’t done anything. I’ve actually been working at the office as usual and completing many tasks. However, those tasks haven’t been as enjoyable as writing about my surroundings or my experiences.

During this period of boredom, I’ve learned new things, one of which is how to make aromatherapy soap. I want to make it my specialty. Aromatherapy soap has lots of benefits for the skin and soul. The fragrance makes me feel valuable and pleasant.

Aromatherapy soap with a sprinkling of dried jasmine flowers

My friends, to whom I gave this soap, were also happy and loved its scent and softness. If you’re really bored, what do you do to return your spirits?
THE MISERY LIFE IN OLD AGE

May 31st, 2025

Have you ever felt a heavy burden because the responsibility of caring for an elderly family member has shifted to you? I am feeling that way right now.

My mother’s younger sibling is having a stroke. I am the closest family member who lives in the same city as her. I have no choice but to take care of all his needs while he is in the hospital.

His other nieces and nephews are scattered in different cities. Indeed, they called and expressed their sympathy, but they couldn’t help due to our distance.

Unlike in developed countries, where the olds leave their home to live in a nursing home. In my country, that is not common. Most elderly family members are cared for by their children or nieces, or they live independently.

I am not egoistic. I don’t deny my social responsibility to take care of my uncle, either. My ability to care for the sick has significantly diminished. I am not young anymore. I am not able to stay awake day and night. I have reached an age where I should slow down and focus more on myself.

However, I also learned a valuable lesson from this incident. So that I am better prepared to welcome my elderly time. Maintaining health is the most important thing. I also have to be financially strong. My children or my siblings might be having financial difficulties when I suddenly fall ill. If I have my own money, they won’t have to worry. Their greetings are enough to make me feel cared for.

Many people realize too late that their well-being in old age is directly linked to the preparations they made during their younger years. While it’s often expected that extended family will provide care, the reality is that not everyone has that privilege. Without proper preparation, life can become challenging in old age.
PUBLIC SERVANT FOR 29 YEARS

May 30th, 2025

I have worked as a government employee for almost 29 years, having carried out various tasks. I also dealt with many kinds type of bosses; arrogant, greedy, friendly, intelligent but bitchy, etc. I learned a lot from my experience as a staff.

Currently, I lead 22 staff. It feels mixed every day. Sometimes happy and enthusiastic. Sometimes I feel pressured. But I believe that the turmoil of feelings must be controlled wisely.

There are actually many pleasant moments to be had as a government employee. Our workload is not as heavy as those who work in private companies. Government employees in Indonesia are very protected in terms of income, family allowances, and health insurance. It is not easy to fire government employees. Only severe mistakes can be a reason for dismissal.

Unlike private employees, who are relatively easy to fire or demote, civil servants tend to have more job security. Yet, the salaries of private employees, especially those working in large companies or state-owned enterprises, often exceed those of civil servants. All jobs have their pros and cons.

At certain moments, I take my staff to lunch. This is an opportunity for us to get to know each other and reduce the tension. Some of my staff who had a hard temper became more soft-hearted after engaging in relaxed activities together. I also understood them better.

This is worth a try, you know.