my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections

MERAWAT BONSAI MU

April 18th, 2025

Haruskah keinginan atau hawa nafsu dibatasi dengan kejam, dimatikan sebelum dia berkecambah dan menggerogoti hati dan pikiran?

Manusia selalu digoda oleh keinginan dan hawa nafsu yang tak berhenti. Selagi dirimu bernafas akan selalu muncul keinginan untuk memiliki ini dan itu, atau menjadi seperti ini dan itu.

Untuk menyelamatkan iman, hawa nafsu itu harus segera dipadamkan. Itukah yang terlintas di kepalamu?

Jangan….! Beri kesempatan dia hidup dan tumbuh. Hidupmu akan menjemukan jika kau tega membunuh keinginan dan cita-citamu, karena dirimu merasa menua atau kesempatan menipis. Keinginan-keinginan tersebutlah yang membuatmu hidup, bergairah. Dan kau tahu…orang yang penuh vitalisme itu memiliki aura positif tersendiri, menjadi magnet untuk sekitarnya.

Keinginan tersebut menjadi indah jika di’pruning’ dengan seni tersendiri. Ibarat tanaman, jika dipangkas mengikuti gambar yang ada di kepala si tukang kebun, dia akan menjelma menjadi bonsai yang seksi.

Tapi jika keinginanmu -diibaratkan kembali ke pohon- engkau biarkan tumbuh rindang sementara halaman rumahmu sempit, dia akan kokoh menghujam ke bumi dan meringsek ke dinding rumahmu hingga reyot dan rubuh.

Keinginan dan nafsu adalah spirit kehidupan. Jangan pangkas dia hingga ke akar. Aturlah arah tumbuhnya, pangkas hanya di bagian yang tak mengikuti desainmu, dan pupuklah. Meskipun dia tua dan kecil namun nilainya melebihi sebuah pohon besar.

Yang engkau butuhkan adalah seni memangkas keinginan, mengarahkan hawa nafsu. Bukan membunuh keinginan-keinginanmu sehingga jiwa dan tubuhmu bosan, menunggu kematian dengan murung.
NEVER DEPEND ON YOUR HUSBAND’S MONEY, MY DARLINGS!

April 17th, 2025

I have always felt privileged by my parents. When I studied independently in my room, they freed me from housework. My mother bought me pretty good clothes and jewelry even though she had to save money. I am their pride because of my outstanding educational achievements that could not given by their other children.

The problem arose later when I was married. I did not work while my parents had difficulty supporting my younger siblings. I wanted to help but had no money. The money I managed belonged to my husband and me. Our money could not be given to my parent without my husband’s consent. I was too shy to ask, either.

I then started to think about working and having my own income. My decision was firm. I worked and seriously developed a career while continuing my higher education. But the obstacles were not easy. I had two little children and a household to take care of.

However, I am now very grateful for the decision I’ve made. I could help my parent, pamper them in the last days of their lives, and help my younger siblings and relatives who are less fortunate. I can finance personal projects or enjoy my hobbies without draining my husband’s money. I feel the blessing.

The freedom I get from having my own money is very calming. I share this learning with every girl who wants to hear my experience. When I meet my nieces, I advise them to build themselves and get a good job.

“Never depend on your husband’s money, my darlings!”
MY FATHER’S BIRTH VILLAGE

April 16th, 2025

I used to hate my father’s birth village. I didn’t like the people, their poor lives, and the nature of my father’s relatives, who often criticized my mother.

On the other hand, I was happy when returning to my mother’s village. My mother’s relatives were amiable. They competed to serve delicious food and asked me to walk around the countryside, bathe in the river, and visit my mother’s relatives’ houses one by one (we had a habit when we went back to our hometown, we had to go to my father’s village first for about a week, then went to my mother’s village). Such a welcome was exciting for a child raised in the city.

However, after I grew up and my father died, I didn’t mind going back to my father’s village. I could deal with the cynicism of my father’s family. I told myself that even though they were like that, they were my father’s blood relatives. I have to maintain a relationship with them.

My late father must have been happy. I no longer hated his family.
KINDNESS HAS JUST BEEN REVEALED

April 15th, 2025

As the eldest child, I feel responsible for helping and guiding my younger siblings from when they were little until they were adults. However, my recent conversation with my younger brother revealed a story that he kept for so long.

What was it?

He said he was embarrassed to bring his friends home because our house was messy. Understandably, we were six siblings and close in age. No one wanted to clean the house unless our parents told us to.

“Before you came home from college, I cleaned our home so friends wouldn’t judge us.”

I laughed when I heard his story. Yes, I remembered that my friends often visited me and some stayed overnight. He was sensitized to a thing that I didn’t consider important at that time.

Oh my brother, thank you. I will keep forever this sweet of you.
NO NEED TO WORRY ME, MY BOYS

April 14th, 2025

This year, I am 56 years old, not too old, but not too young either. I hope I will still live for the next 10 years. May God allow it. Amen.

If my life were that long, I would be a university lecturer and an expert in environmental science.

My hometown, Jambi, is facing environmental problems caused by the over-exploitation of natural resources. Businessmen ignore the severely damaged nature, while local officials tacitly support their actions. I will work to advocate for pro-environmental policies.

In my spare time, I would write a lot, travel, and visit relatives and old friends. That would be pleasant. I also would spend my time on my flowers (especially the hoya variety, which I am very proud of because not many plant lovers know and grow this flower).

Activities like that are enough to keep me busy in my old age.
My children will be happy too because they don’t have to worry too much about me. Oh yes, I hope my husband is healthy. And We can spend our old age together. The longer I live, the closer I get to him. He is the one who understands me the most right now.
TSUNAMI ACEH DALAM PERCAKAPANKU DENGAN SI BUNGSU

April 13th, 2025

Saat sendirian, sering sekali percakapan dengan anak-anakku belasan atau puluhan tahun lalu muncul kembali. Salah satunya yang berikut ini.

Aku sedang bekerja di depan laptop, anakku yang bungsu tengah menggambar di atas kertas bekas dengan spidol warna warninya. Dia masih berumur empat tahunan kala itu. Belum masuk sekolah kanak-kanak.

Aku nyeletuk.

“Mama akan pergi ke Aceh, untuk pelatihan sekitar satu bulan. Kamu tak keberatan kan?”

Aku sampaikan hal tersebut karena ada penawaran dari bosku untuk mengikuti pelatihan tersebut.

Dia diam saja untuk beberapa saat. Anak keduaku ini lebih pendiam dibanding abangnya sehingga aku terbiasa menerima slow responnya. Namun dia menangis, dengan air mata langsung membanjiri wajahnya.

“Kalau mama mati di sana, siapa yang akan mengajariku membaca?” ucapnya sambal terisak.

Aku terkejut mendengar jawaban yang tak disangka tersebut. Oh Tuhan, ternyata anak kecil yang kukira tak mengerti apa-apa menyimpan trauma terhadap bencana alam tsunami Aceh yang terjadi tahun sebelumnya (tahun 2004). Semua layar televisi tak henti-henti menyiarkan kejadian tersebut hingga setahun kemudian.

Selain sedih mendengar kekhawatirannya (dan langsung mendekapnya), aku juga merasa bangga. Anakku mengandalkanku untuk mengajarinya membaca! Mungkin karena dia melihat aku memperkenalkan huruf demi huruf latin kepada abangnya hingga dia bisa membaca. Dia ingin aku melakukan hal yang sama untuknya.

Pengalaman tersebut mengingatkanku betapa memori anak sangat kuat. Tidak semua ketakutan mereka muncul ke permukaan, namun tersimpan di ingatannya dengan sangat kuat. Jika anak-anak takut terhadap sesuatu dengan alasan yang tak jelas, kemungkinan dia pernah melihat atau mengalami kejadian tersebut namun tak diceritakan kepada orangtuanya pada saat itu juga.

Sebagai orangtua, kita harus berhati-hati. Mungkin ada trauma yang bisa dinetralisir si anak seiring bertambahnya kedewasaan. Namun ada yang membekas lama dan mempengaruhi prilakunya hingga dewasa.
SIMPLE BUT MAKES ME HAPPY

April 12th, 2025
POV: Five simple things can help start a happy day.
1. Having enough time for myself, such as watering and caring for flowers before going to the office or casually chatting with my husband.
2. Wearing comfortable clothes and shoes
3. Meet my female friends and exchange stories about our experiences completing housework or other funny things.
4. Effectively resolving the conflict between shopping and saving by ensuring that some funds I have invested for retirement preparation.
5. Taking a walk to a new location while enjoying the natural scenery, observing the uniqueness of houses I pass, and the plants in their yards.
OBSERVATION SKILLS

April 11th, 2025

I was a quiet and introverted teenager and spent most of my time studying and reading books. Friend? I had very few. If one of my close circles didn’t come to school or was busy chatting with other friends, I became very lonely and more withdrawn. That is a mediocre portrayal of mine.

With my nature and limitations, I like to observe my surroundings. Since most of them were my childhood friends in elementary school, so I knew what they were like. Some were already beautiful since they were little and from rich families. In high school, they grew more attractive and the center of attention.

There were also ordinary or nerdy friends. But, surprisingly they became attractive, cheerful, and a new star among other teenagers. Some others were like me, still nerdy, hahaha. Maybe because I and those of the same type as me didn’t have the money to dress up, buy branded clothes and shoes, and diligently hang out in high-class circles.

I carried all of my observations into adulthood and marriage. Once I had the means, I improved my appearance. I indulged myself intellectually by purchasing books and gadgets, and by watching quality movies. Additionally, I enhanced my appearance with nice accessories, ensuring they weren’t overly flashy. Looking modest makes me feel comfortable.

Until now, I never allowed myself to get caught up in a hedonistic social life. I always believed that gaining knowledge and cultivating positive traits were more important. While I used to struggle with my sense of fashion, I’ve finally managed to keep up quite well.
BE MORE SPIRITUAL

April 10th, 2025

Humans must undergo many changes throughout their lives, not just one. A phrase that I remember emphasizes the importance of change in life.

You can’t change what happens around you until you change what happens inside you.

I follow that advice. If my mind is stuck because my surroundings are not good, I try to change my daily activity or order my mind not to get caught up in negative thoughts.

Now, I am getting used to bringing all the unpleasant things in my daily life into prayer. Whenever I am stuck with one matter and reluctant to beg for other’s help, I ask God to move the universe so that my affairs run smoothly.

What if it turns out that there is no change in the direction I want?

I prepare mine to accept my fate. It may be the best for me. I would not be stubborn or overthink anymore. I commit to embracing a slow lifestyle.

In the beginning, everything felt so difficult. It seemed like I was ready to give up the fight. I was tired of constantly pursuing my goals without considering that the universe is home to other beings, not just me. I realized I needed to share my good fortune; sometimes, it’s mine, and other times, it belongs to others. By adopting this perspective, my life has become much more peaceful.
MESSAGE FOR YOU, SLOW RESPONDER

April 9th, 2025

I wonder why some civil servants are slow to respond to general questions on WhatsApp, especially when it’s part of their job. This behavior seems disrespectful to the public. When inquiries are work-related, a quick response is essential. If you don’t know the answer, it’s better to admit it and suggest someone else who can help.

We currently lack literature on the ethics of sending messages via email or WhatsApp. Social media and communication channels are often misused to deceive or annoy others.

Despite that situation, as a public servant, I think one needs to find a better way to respond to the public question. Never let them doubt your service.

What do you think? Do you have a different opinion about using WattsApp for public service?