My resemblance to my mother is quite strong. I inherited some of her hobbies, including cooking, gardening, and sharing stories. I also adopted her generosity, religiosity, and sympathy for others (especially toward our relatives).

She did not have a higher education, but her point of view was logical and acceptable. My sister and I once commended her, “Our mother must have been an accomplished woman if she had the opportunity to have a career.”

I remember when she asked me not to leave my job even though my husband covered all my needs. A woman’s financial independence is substantial to maintain her happiness. “People change, and your husband may change too. You have to anticipate it. By having your own money, some problems can be solved.”

My mother had prepared me to be a strong woman. I was her eldest child. Even though I am a woman, I have to be ready to face the world with all its problems. The way my mother educated my mentality was truly astonishing because she was raised in a traditional culture that placed women one level below men. In Batak culture (we are from the Batak tribe, one of the tribes in Sumatra that strongly adheres to a patriarchal system), the woman is expected to be a loyal wife and devote her life to raising the children. Her happiness is defined by the success of her husband and children.

Maybe my mother was influenced by the Minang tradition (another tribe in Sumatra that holds a matrilineal system, in contrast with Batakness) where most women play a central role in managing family wealth.

Or, she had sensed that modern life demands people with good qualities to live in dignity. Both men and women must be financially independent and wise/kind-hearted to live in dignity.

Her advice accompanies my adult life. She passed away 15 years ago, but her spirit lives on with me every day. Her hobbies and her ‘want to be’ are always with me. I have been trying my best to make them true. All praise to her who has motivated me to become a strong woman.

Related article:

Being Wiser in Spending Money