This question arose in me after seeing someone I know involved in a corruption case. My ex-boss is currently being prosecuted and will soon be imprisoned. Considering his advanced age (60), how will he survive the impact of the case and recover?
Another case is concerning a former governor. He is also involved in a corruption case. At the same time, his affairs with several women are exposed. His wife can’t take it anymore and filed for divorce. He seemed to have accepted his fate, but who knows what was going on inside?
Reflecting on this incident, I questioned myself: if that happened to me, could I survive? How long would it take me to recover and get back on my feet? Honestly, I’m not the type of person who enjoys taking risks. Throughout my life, I’ve always walked the straight path. However, trials in life also happen to people like me. These similar cases may occur to members of my family, and whether I like it or not, I will bear the consequences.
If that happens, I don’t think I’ll recover. I’m a crybaby. I’ll be hurt for the rest of my life.
Returning to RK, the former governor, I learned how he handled his downfall. He was quite the gentleman. He publicly apologized to his wife for the mistakes he made during their marriage.
He admitted his mistakes during his marriage to his wife, something not every man would do, especially since he was a very popular figure. But by doing so, he’d removed some of the burden from his heart. He could now focus on facing the corruption case.
Perhaps, to quickly recover from a downfall, one must have the courage to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness. RK knew that, and he apologized to his wife, sincerely and consciously. If he continued to deny it, his mental burden would only grow heavier.
Even from people who are at their lowest, I can learn. We shouldn’t laugh at people like them, but instead, learn valuable lessons from their life experiences.
Haruskah keinginan atau hawa nafsu dibatasi dengan kejam, dimatikan sebelum dia berkecambah dan menggerogoti hati dan pikiran?
Manusia selalu digoda oleh keinginan dan hawa nafsu yang tak berhenti. Selagi dirimu bernafas akan selalu muncul keinginan untuk memiliki ini dan itu, atau menjadi seperti ini dan itu.
Untuk menyelamatkan iman, hawa nafsu itu harus segera dipadamkan. Itukah yang terlintas di kepalamu?
Jangan….! Beri kesempatan dia hidup dan tumbuh. Hidupmu akan menjemukan jika kau tega membunuh keinginan dan cita-citamu, karena dirimu merasa menua atau kesempatan menipis. Keinginan-keinginan tersebutlah yang membuatmu hidup, bergairah. Dan kau tahu…orang yang penuh vitalisme itu memiliki aura positif tersendiri, menjadi magnet untuk sekitarnya.
Keinginan tersebut menjadi indah jika di’pruning’ dengan seni tersendiri. Ibarat tanaman, jika dipangkas mengikuti gambar yang ada di kepala si tukang kebun, dia akan menjelma menjadi bonsai yang seksi.
Tapi jika keinginanmu -diibaratkan kembali ke pohon- engkau biarkan tumbuh rindang sementara halaman rumahmu sempit, dia akan kokoh menghujam ke bumi dan meringsek ke dinding rumahmu hingga reyot dan rubuh.
Keinginan dan nafsu adalah spirit kehidupan. Jangan pangkas dia hingga ke akar. Aturlah arah tumbuhnya, pangkas hanya di bagian yang tak mengikuti desainmu, dan pupuklah. Meskipun dia tua dan kecil namun nilainya melebihi sebuah pohon besar.
Yang engkau butuhkan adalah seni memangkas keinginan, mengarahkan hawa nafsu. Bukan membunuh keinginan-keinginanmu sehingga jiwa dan tubuhmu bosan, menunggu kematian dengan murung.
Hoya, kamu mungkin belum terlalu familiar dengan bunga yang satu ini ya. Aku mulai mengoleksinya pas booming tanaman hias waktu pandemi Covid-19 melanda dunia. Kalau melihat kegilaan bertanam bunga waktu itu, sekarang senyum-senyum sendiri.
Bayangkan…malam hari pun aku bawa senter ke halaman depan dan belakang untuk melihat perkembangan tanamanku, padahal baru pagi dan sorenya aku mengintip mereka. Waktu itu kok tanaman seperti lambaattt banget berkembang.
Nah aku beli Hoya ini dari toko online di Shxxxx. Ada ratusan jenis Hoya yang dijual, dari yang harga murah (ribuan rupiah) hingga yang agak mahal dari jenis variegata atau yang diimpor (puluhan ribuan rupiah). Semua datang hanya dengan dua atau tiga daun. Penjualnya pelit banget!
Bertahun-tahun kemudian, koleksi Hoyaku cukup banyak. Dan rimbun. Beberapa jenis Hoya bahkan merambat hingga ke dinding dan kanopi rumah. Berbunga? Ya, rajin dan tanpa kenal musim.
Kenapa aku tertarik Hoya?
Daunnya cakep. Tebal, montok menggemaskan. Setiap jenis punya bentuk daun sendiri. Beda dengan anggrek yang bentuk daunnya nyaris sama. Meski belum mengeluarkan bunga, daun Hoya bisa jadi penambah keindahan rumah/halaman.
Awalnya Hoya lambat bertumbuh, namun begitu mendapatkan posisi atau letak tanam yang pas, dia akan bertumbuh dengan kencang dan luar biasa. Aku memindahkan lokasi pot Hoya ke beberapa tempat, sampai menemukan posisi yang pas dan bikin dia tentram.
Sekali berbunga, dia akan terus berbunga. Jangan dipangkas tongkol bunganya sebab di sana bunga baru akan bermunculan kembali.
Media tanamnya gampang, mudah didapat. Aku menggunakan sabut kelapa kering yang sebelumnya telah direndam dengan Sodium Metabisulfat (SMB) untuk menghilangkan jamur dan bakteri, dan dipotong kecil-kecil. Agar bisa menyerap air lebih baik, aku menambahkan tanah kompos (dihasilkan dari komposter di rumahku).
Bunga ini jenis tanaman merambat, yang aku suka banget karena bisa digantung atau ditempel di dinding. Tidak menyita space/ruang di rumah-rumah perkotaan yang biasanya berhalaman minim.
Tak perlu disiram tiap hari dan perawatannya gampang. Untuk kamu yang sering keluar kota atau punya aktivitas lapangan yang tinggi, ini bunga yang cocok banget buat kamu rawat.
Kompas memprediksi bunga Hoya bakalan populer tahun 2025 ini.
Kamu yang juga suka Hoya, silakan berbagi pengalamanmu merawat tanaman hias ini. Aku tunggu….
Cooking requires a positive mood. Don’t cook if your mood is bad. It won’t taste good. It’s better to go out and look for fast food.
This week, I have been quite busy, coming home tired and just wanting to relax. So, I skip cooking.
Luckily, there are many choices of fast food, both local and international. I just need to walk several hundred meters to the nearest food stall. Then choose what I want to eat, such as Pecel Lele, Nasi Padang, and Martabak Mesir.
When I am not traveling for work, I cook. I am building a new habit of bringing lunch to the office. Cooking healthy food is necessary. The menu that I make most often is….. Guess what?
I often feel tempted to share my plans that bring me happiness with my friends and family. I do this to share my joy and satisfy myself. I thought it was acceptable until I realized that by doing so, my plans were slipping further away from being achieved. Now, I am reconsidering my approach.
Am I cursed because I revealed it too early, or is an invisible force preventing me from realizing it? The goal seems to be to frustrate me and make me give up. This doubt often fills my mind.
It’s believed in Indonesian culture that you should not share your personal plans in advance.
Because not everyone is happy with you. Telling it can be interpreted as arrogance.
By conveying personal plans too early, you become easily changed if many criticize and do not support you. You will also feel pressured if the plan experiences obstacles from your side.
I’ve started to realize that revealing personal plans is not wise. It’s better to keep them as surprises. Others will find out once they are accomplished.
What about your culture or perspective on this matter? Do you need other people’s opinions before realizing a personal plan?
There are many things I complain about every day, but the level varies. The most severe level of complaint is when the problem involves feelings. It is difficult to treat and resolve.
Now, I am learning how to put all the displeasure in this life not on my feelings but only on my brain so that I can find a solution.
There is a big difference between the two.
If I put the problem on my feelings, I am filled with doubt, sadness, and confusion. The solution is difficult to find because the subjectivity is very high.
But if I put it in my brain, usually, various solutions will appear to solve it. And I can be more assertive.
What problems do I complain about the most?
The work-related issues involving my staff, colleagues, and boss. Since I spend eight hours a day, five days a week with them, many problems arise. Conflicts are frequently up, and I have to deal with them.
I believe this:
Everyone has their own problems. Never feel that you are alone and there is no way out of your problems.
Not all beauty can be captured by the camera. Do you think this is odd??
That is what I experience whenever I visit Muaro Jambi Temple.
In the heart of a Muslim settlement in Muaro Jambi, there stands a Buddhist temple that is both quiet and graceful. This temple complex covers an area of 4,000 hectares and was once believed to be the largest Buddhist school in Asia. It is likely that students traveled via the river route to reach the temple located on the banks of the Batanghari River.
I have come here several times, and there are progressive changes every time I see it again. The Indonesian government continues to work to rebuild the temple, digging up ruins from the ground and reconstructing under the direction of archaeologists.
This temple is magnificent. However, every time I take its picture, my heart feels despair.
Why?
My camera always fails to capture the temple’s beauty, which is hundreds of times more stunning than what appears in the photo.
The temple complex consists of numerous large and medium-sized temples and many smaller ones. There are 11 main temples, but it is estimated that approximately 82 temple ruins are buried beneath mounds that form small hills.
Yesterday, despite the rain, I visited three temples: Gumpung, Tinggi, and Gedong.
Visitors may need to walk up to 500 meters or more from one temple to another, making it suitable for quiet walks. The area is shaded by large trees and green lawns.
It is still frequently used by Buddhists all over the world who come to participate in significant ceremonies, such as Waisak. This event always attracts many tourists and features a vibrant festival atmosphere.
In my belief, playing the lottery is considered haram. Let me talk about a different and more uplifting topic.
When meeting old friends, the conversation revolves around children, careers, and sharing information about other friends in college or the surrounding environment. For those whose social status is not good, such chats frustrate them. Nothing to tell from their side except the sad and disappointing ones. That is one of the reasons why many people reject reunion parties.
I understand their feeling. Old memories are only good to write about, not to retell, because their influence is not good psychologically. I feel tired after discussing old memories, even though, for others, they might be funny. However, they are different if written down. I can see more clearly from various aspects, learn lessons, and soften my heart.
So, after chatting about family and work, I usually ask what they will do in the future. It is really an interesting topic to explore.
This weekend, I had the pleasure of welcoming two old friends and their families to my home.
My friend, Idy, is working on a concept for a homestay that will be integrated with a poultry farm, focusing on preserving local poultry germplasm. He works as a consultant for a large poultry company in South Sumatra.
Another friend who came the day before, Hen, told me about the community empowerment activities she leads. He is implementing a waste management initiative project integrated with a poultry farm. This activity will contribute significantly to reducing domestic waste, including wasted food, if adopted by the government to be socialized on a large scale.
Reunions like this really leave something exciting and provoke new ideas in my head. I also asked myself, what will I do in the future?
I have such ideals and ambitions; however, they remain discourses. These thoughts are refreshing, beneficial for self-development, and will clearly contribute to the surrounding environment.
How about you? Do you have interesting ambitions for the future (after retiring from working in an office)?
Kurang tiga jam lagi waktu berbuka akan datang. Bapak belum pulang kantor. Ibu belum mulai masak meski dapur sudah dirapikan sejak tadi. Adik-adikku sudah kembali dari sekolah dan bermain sebentar dengan kawan-kawannya. Mereka tidak ribut seperti biasa. Tunak, rasa lapar menjinakkan mereka.
“Uang belanja habis,” ungkap Ibu semalam. Aku berada di dekat mereka dan menangkap pembicaraan itu.
“Besok Papa cari hutangan di koperasi kantor,” jawab Bapak, pelan tapi sepertinya yakin akan mendapatkannya.
Penghasilan PNS di tahun 80an tak sebaik sekarang. Bapak pegawai tulen, dia tak punya sumber pendapatan lain. Ibu stay di rumah mengurus keenam anaknya. Pernah sih Ibu buka warung kecil-kecilan, dibantu oleh Tulang (adik laki-laki Ibu) namun tak bertahan lama. Jajanan di warung lebih banyak kami yang makan. Uangnya tak ketemu.
Aku gak bakalan cerita betapa ideal dan penuh tanggung jawabnya orangtuaku. Kalian pasti akan berhenti membaca tulisan Kenangan Ramadhanku ini. Dunia ini tak semanis dan sebosan itu, kan?
Bapak akhirnya pulang. Dia membawa ikan mas. Wajahnya cerah meski lelah. Di usiaku yang belum 15 tahun, aku mulai paham masalah keuangan yang dihadapi orangtuaku. Bapak membeli ikan itu dari uang hutang.
Setelah aku dewasa dan menikah, aku pernah bertanya dalam hati, mengapa Bapak membeli ikan emas untuk makan malam kami? Mengapa tidak ikan asin/teri, atau ikan laut yang harganya jauh lebih murah? Bapak boros, dia tak harusnya memaksakan diri membeli sesuatu yang di luar kemampuannya.
Namun aku diingatkan sifat Bapak yang penyayang. Bapak ingin anak-anaknya bergembira saat berbuka. Rasa lapar anak-anaknya yang terpuaskan waktu berbuka adalah kebahagiaannya. Lewat puasa, Islam mengajarkan umatnya berempati terhadap orang miskin, agar mengenal Allah lebih dekat, dan menguatkan relasi antara penderitaan fisik yang akan bernilai ibadah selama dijalani dengan ikhlas, Bapak milih mengajarkan puasa dengan cara lembut dan membujuk. Anak-anaknya waktu itu baru berusia 15, 14, 12, 11 tahun, dan dua balita.
Selesai magrib, makan malam dan beberes sisa makanan, kami dilepas ke masjid untuk taraweh. Aku menyukai tarawih namun belum dilandasi taqwa. Aku suka karena di masjid aku dapat wawasan dan kenalan baru.
Suasana malam selama bulan Ramadhan jauh lebih hidup. Aku melalui warung dan toko yang penuh barang rumah tangga dan makanan. Aku bertemu kawan-kawan mengaji dan sekolah yang bersemi cantik dan ganteng, suka bersolek dan mudah senyum, karena sadar sedang diamati remaja lainnya.
Di pojok masjid, jika tirai pembatas saf laki-laki dan perempuan dibuka, aku bisa melihat dan mengamati wajah-wajah jamaah laki-laki muda dan tua, menyimak ekspresi mereka dan mereka-reka rumah mereka itu yang sebelah mana ya?
Ada proses berpikir yang mengalir di kepalaku saat itu. Berpikir, mengingat, dan mengaitkan satu dengan yang lain. Kegiatan olah pikir yang sulit dijelaskan tapi itu asik. Mungkin itu awal dari kesukaanku mengamati dan menuangkan gagasan ke dalam tulisan.
Sholat tarawih ke masjid seharusnya tak dilakukan anak-anak tanpa didamping orangtuanya. Ketiga adik laki-lakiku berangkat masing-masing, Bapak juga pergi sendirian. Itu jamak juga di keluarga lain. Aku lebih sering berangkat bersama Ibu, sekali-sekali diajak oleh tetanggaku sebaya.
Mengapa harus didampingi? Kenakalan remaja sebagian tumbuh dari malam-malam tarawih itu. Remaja laki-laki mulai merokok dan menggoda remaja perempuan yang melintas. Sebagian sih niatnya masih benar, ikut sholat sampai rakaat akhir. Namun lebih banyak yang duduk di sekitar masjid, berebut job parkiran sandal, atau pura-pura sholat di ujung rakaat.
Untunglah aku tak menyalahgunakan malam tarawih untuk kesenangan-kesenangan picisan. Meski kadang diajak oleh kakak-kakak tetangga yang sudah pintar besolek, obrolan mereka gres dan tawanya renyah, namun lebih nyaman bersama Ibuku yang ibadahnya khusu’.
Ramadhan mendekatkan aku dan Ibuku. Pertengkaran Ibu dan anak perempuannya yang konon meningkat di saat anak masuk usia remaja, tak terjadi pada kami. Aku dikawal, namun diberi keleluasaan memilih caraku menuju sholeha dan berilmu. Syarat kerasnya, tak boleh genit.
“Kasihan Papamu. Orang-orang akan membicarakannya jika melihatmu bergenit-genit di luar,” nasehatnya yang sangat aku ingat. Aku menyayangi Bapak. Aku Boru Panggoaran-nya. Nasehat Ibu whoosh, langsung menancap ke hatiku.
Bagaimana dengan adik laki-lakiku? Mereka tengah berjuang untuk memperbaiki kehidupan dan keimanannya masing-masing. Jalan mereka cukup terjal. Teruslah berjuang, adik-adikku.
Oftentimes, a person has to follow other people’s wishes, but in his heart, he wants to say no. That often happens to me. Without me realizing it, my desire to be a nice person drives me to follow other people’s agendas.
The line between a kind-hearted person and the one who’s not daring to say no is very blurred.
I see signs when my mental condition is damaged because of the fear of saying no. The main signs are excessive fatigue, stress and anxiety, and feeling unappreciated or disrespected.
Have you ever experienced the same thing?
Some say that someone who faces this situation must be brave enough to say “no” without feeling worse. However, it is not that simple. Humans are social creatures, so their need to be accepted by others is quite strong.
Let’s talk about this. Do you have any opinions or experiences on how to react in such situations?
my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections 