My mother didn’t talk much about the atmosphere at my birthday. I was the first daughter and the first grandchild on my mother’s side of the family. So, I was warmly welcomed there.
Years later, I realized that my birth year coincided with the year of the Apollo lunar missions. Perhaps my parents didn’t know it either, as television was still rare at the time. They weren’t informed about the world’s excitement the year their daughter was born.
I remember my grandfather (my mom’s father) eagerly anticipating my arrival. Every time I returned to the village, he would take me to breakfast at the stall in the village market. Whether asked or not, he would happily introduce me to everyone he met, saying, “This is my granddaughter.”
It seemed he had longed for me. Indeed, we only met two or three times. He died relatively young. Those brief moments with him left a lasting impression on me.
The year 1969 marked several political events, including the coup d’état by Muammar Gaddafi in Libya and the referendum in Papua, Indonesia. My father and his colleagues probably discussed these events; I was too young to be involved.
Returning to my family atmosphere, the year I was born, my father’s family seemed uninterested in my birth. I felt this way until my teenage years. Every time I went to my father’s house, I felt completely neglected. I encountered relatives who were overly fussy and complained about everything, especially my mother. Nothing she did ever pleased her sister-in-law.
The contradiction between the two families led me to choose to stay longer in my mother’s village. As a beloved daughter, I urged my father to return to my mother’s village. He complied. Otherwise, I would often get sick.
I now realize how the difference in affection between fathers’ and mothers’ families is also experienced by many others. One study found that most people are closer to their mother’s family because mothers tend to be more active in maintaining relationships with their own extended family, which naturally leads to children meeting and becoming closer to relatives on their mother’s side more often.
What about you, my friend? Are you closer to your mother’s side of the family or your father’s side?
my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections 