Tag: marriage

INFIDELITY IN A STRONG MARRIAGE

April 2nd, 2025

What is your opinion about infidelity?

Infidelity among politicians, artists, and the rich in my country is rampant. Generally, the man is having an affair with a young woman – the same age as his daughter – who is indeed pursuing a well-established man as a partner.

This is not a love-based relationship between a man and a woman. This is a transactional relationship, a short-term relationship with mutual benefits. The man provides money and facilities, and the woman gives pleasure. This relationship is safer in terms of health compared to using a prostitute.

My society is known to be religious and respects manners. But times have changed. Religion and customs are only for those who still believe in them. Others may disobey.

The influence of social media is significant in changing people’s behavior, especially poisoning the minds of young girls. They hunt for gentlemen who will finance their luxurious lifestyles, regardless of whether the man is married.

Social media often brings the topic of infidelity to the forefront, exposing it for everyone to see. I can only imagine the devastation it causes to the family of the man involved in the affair. His wife might have been aware of her husband’s infidelity, but what about their daughter or son? They may have viewed their father as the hero of the family—a man who works hard for them—only to discover that he has been having an affair with a younger woman.

Young mistresses astonishingly come from good, religious families. However, they do not express regret. They are even willing to speak up and argue for recognition and acceptance.

Despite the turmoil of marriage, I admire families that can reconcile. This hint of a strong marriage that remains unshaken by fleeting temptations. Wives who take their husbands back and are willing to repair the fractures in their marriage, all while smiling and hiding their tears, are remarkable. You appear even more beautiful to me because of your inner strength and maturity of soul.
MARRIAGE IS NOT SCARY

March 2nd, 2025

Marriage is a journey that teaches me many lessons and inspires me to keep growing, I entered this stage of life at 24 as a woman who was innocent and had limited experience with men.

My husband was the first man in my adult life. I only knew the character of a man like my father who was patient, generous, and loving to his children.

I had never taken a marriage course, and at that time, it didn’t seem necessary. I viewed marriage as just a part of life—what was there to study? Hahaha… how naive I was, right?

I was optimistic, thinking my life would be perfect with no fights and no sadness. But reality slapped me.

My man was not as I imagined. My husband has a different nature from my father. That became a source of disappointment for me. I felt like I was being cheated on raw.

Indeed, we never talked seriously about how to manage a marriage, how to manage finances, and the children who would be born. My husband imitated his father’s figure, while I considered my father as my ideal man. It was a heavy blow that shook the household for years.

I am not alone. Many married women around me also complained about the pressures of the differences in views in managing the household between husband and wife. In my time, divorce was a shameful thing. We had to maintain our household even though there were many disputes.

Reflecting on my life, I am grateful to be able to survive in marriage.

Oh..but you suffer, do you?

Maybe that’s someone else’s comment who doesn’t know the journey my husband and I went through until we reached 30 years of marriage.

Yes, there were times when I suffered from accepting my husband’s character. But he also experienced the same thing. Who knows whose burden of suffering was the heaviest. Only God knows.

Marriage is not scary.

We received a valuable gift from our patience in nurturing our marriage. Our two children have grown up in a normal and happy family environment.

I also had a chance to school and develop professional work. I can build myself without the shadow of my husband. Marriage has many sides, the fun and the not, the boring and the exciting. On the whole, more positives than bad ones.

Thank you my friend for reading my point of view.

Wish you all the best.
Would Women’s Financial Independence Be a Challenge to Marital Happiness?

December 16th, 2024

Financial independence is now a hot topic in Indonesia. Many women dream of it, supported by increasing levels of education. Women’s opportunities to get jobs are wide open because equality is guaranteed by law.

In Indonesian tradition, women have long worked outside the home as teachers, traders, or tailors. In Minangkabau, for example, women have worked in the market for quite a long time.

In Batak culture, the wives, often called Inang-Inang, work in the family garden and sell the harvest to the market. They are hard workers and family heroes who bring children to a higher level of education and social status in society.

Their young generation now enjoys more stable work in modern offices as government and bank employees, lawyers, and teachers/lecturers. Some professions provide high incomes, and the smartness in reinvesting their money makes women achieve financial independence. Some have much higher incomes than their husbands. In such a situation, the husband must give space to his wife because the contribution given by his wife cannot be underestimated.

Is financial independence a factor in the high divorce rate in Indonesia? We must be careful in our assessment. According to media sources, the main causes of divorce in several big cities in Indonesia are constant quarrels, economic pressure, family neglect, domestic violence, and drunkenness.

The economic pressure above means a lack of allowance from a husband to his wife and children. That is certainly very different from financial independence that I mean. A woman’s financial independence will bring more happiness to a married couple and their children. It is not a trigger for divorce but positively resolves the family’s economic difficulties. At least a wife does not need to fight with her husband to get money for her personal needs.

Financial independence will also lead a woman to explore other skills that she wants. Many women with higher incomes study other skills, such as writing or photography, without sacrificing their previous jobs. Often, these new skills become an additional income.

Financial independence is a consequence of educational equality between women and men. I support it. If anyone objects, I feel that they may have been born in the wrong era. If financial independence can make a woman happy, we should support it.

A happy woman will be a more pleasant person for her husband, children, and extended family. Do you agree with me?

Tag: marriage

INFIDELITY IN A STRONG MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE IS NOT SCARY

Would Women’s Financial Independence Be a Challenge to Marital Happiness?