Tag: mental health

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO RISE FROM A FALL?

December 26th, 2025

This question arose in me after seeing someone I know involved in a corruption case. My ex-boss is currently being prosecuted and will soon be imprisoned. Considering his advanced age (60), how will he survive the impact of the case and recover?

Another case is concerning a former governor. He is also involved in a corruption case. At the same time, his affairs with several women are exposed. His wife can’t take it anymore and filed for divorce. He seemed to have accepted his fate, but who knows what was going on inside?

Reflecting on this incident, I questioned myself: if that happened to me, could I survive? How long would it take me to recover and get back on my feet? Honestly, I’m not the type of person who enjoys taking risks. Throughout my life, I’ve always walked the straight path. However, trials in life also happen to people like me. These similar cases may occur to members of my family, and whether I like it or not, I will bear the consequences.

If that happens, I don’t think I’ll recover. I’m a crybaby. I’ll be hurt for the rest of my life.

Returning to RK, the former governor, I learned how he handled his downfall. He was quite the gentleman. He publicly apologized to his wife for the mistakes he made during their marriage.

He admitted his mistakes during his marriage to his wife, something not every man would do, especially since he was a very popular figure. But by doing so, he’d removed some of the burden from his heart. He could now focus on facing the corruption case.

Perhaps, to quickly recover from a downfall, one must have the courage to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness. RK knew that, and he apologized to his wife, sincerely and consciously. If he continued to deny it, his mental burden would only grow heavier.

Even from people who are at their lowest, I can learn. We shouldn’t laugh at people like them, but instead, learn valuable lessons from their life experiences.

Merry Christmas and a happy weekend to all.
I HATE BEING WEAK

December 21st, 2025

I hate being weak. Even though I’m no longer young, I still want to be strong, independent, and able to experience more in life. I don’t want to depend on others, especially when it comes to taking care of my own body.

When I’m sick, I feel like I’m going to die, but I still hope to stay strong and not bother others. It’s so frustrating when I become a burden to others because I feel dizzy or can’t control my body.

After the illness healed, I felt ashamed. Why couldn’t I control myself and endure the pain? Why did I let my illness make me weak?

Not only when I’m sick, but in situations where I can’t speak up or be honest, I also feel weak and harbor anger inside. I am obsessed with being independent in all aspects of my life.

Perhaps being too independent isn’t good. I push myself too hard. It stresses my mind and body. I try living a relaxed lifestyle, but I still demand perfection and independence. This makes it difficult for me to have a joyful life.

I was created to be a strong woman. However, when I’m sick, I have to rely on others to heal my body. I hate that.

I fail to show myself compassion. If my body could talk, it would ask me to be gentle with it. It has worked hard for so long. It’s natural for its strength to weaken.

Perhaps I need to learn how to love myself. In addition to the concept of slow living, I also need to practice self-compassion.
REJECTED BUT I PERSIST

December 13th, 2025

I was appointed to lead a work division 5 years ago. The position before was held by someone who was quite popular in the office. I replaced his position after his affair was exposed to the public, and the peak leader in government cannot tolerate that.

Since he was popular, my appointment was disliked and even refused. The staff considered me their enemy. Their loyalty was only to the ex-boss. They looked passive and responded unenthusiastically to my talk, order, or question. Even the drawer in my workroom was still locked, as if I was not allow to use it.

I kept the feeling of rejection for weeks. Yet I never let anyone intimidate me; that’s one of the principles of my life. I continued asking them to accomplish work while I learnt the characters of each. Months there, I have quite a lot of information about my staff; who have skills and are diligent, who talk and protest only, and who are obedient yet less skilled.

Once I identify them, I can manage and empower them according to their competency. I built their trust and respect for me. I never talk badly about their ex-boss. I don’t care at all about their old time with their ex-boss; I only expect them to work well, be loyal to me, and if they keep disliking me, please go out and work in another division.

I would not say that they all love me now. Some still resist, yet not openly. I learnt that in every place, there must be some who like and dislike you. Don’t be too bothered. Life will go on. Do the best, let the universe bring many good things into your life.
IF ONLY I COULD STOP CONSUMERISM?

December 8th, 2025

I once resolved not to buy new clothes too often. I have plenty, enough to last me a lifetime. Even if I gave a few away, I’d still have enough to cover my body and enhance my appearance.

However, that resolve didn’t last long. I longed for new clothes. I realized that even if I wore new clothes, my appearance wouldn’t be more modern or sophisticated. That’s just the way I was; it couldn’t be upgraded any further (hehehe).

Every time I was tempted to buy a bolder style, a voice inside me would whisper, “It’s not for you.” I’d end up buying clothes that were similar in style or color to the ones I already have in my closet.

So, why do I continue buying new clothes even though I try to break the habit?

I did it to please myself. New clothes bring a fresh aura compared to old ones. Trust me, you’ll feel comfortable and light every time you wear a new dress you chose when you were feeling happy. The feeling is different when you wear an old dress, even if it’s still in good condition. Perhaps the positive aura of the old dress has faded with the frequency of wearing it.

I don’t mean to encourage you to overconsume. I admire people who consistently wear old clothes to save the world from waste. However, I haven’t been able to do that yet.

Also, I get bored easily. I need small changes to improve my mood. Buying new clothes can relieve boredom and lift my spirits. Having something new that I’ve dreamed of will circulate energy around and encourage me to do more good for myself and those around me.
WHAT YOU EAT DEFINES YOU

December 7th, 2025

I recently came to understand the meaning of this saying. For a long time, I thought of food as a usual thing everyone does to survive. The richer a person, the higher quality (and usually more expensive) food they consume. Poor people had to accept their circumstances and consume whatever food they could afford.

But I was wrong. A person’s consumption patterns and food choices reflect who they are and the quality of life they desire. This issue is not related to social status or wealth. When someone is conscious of their food choices, they have defined themselves well.

A self-aware person will choose and then consume food that is good for the body and the soul’s health. In Islam, for example, the soul needs halal food. Muslims are required to consume halal food, both in terms of ingredients and in terms of financial resources to get food.

What about the body?
The body needs food that can maintain its function and performance as a human being. Not all foods can have that effect. Most dishes in the world are designed to please the human palate and throat; few actually improve health or maintain good body function.

For the past six months, I’ve been struggling to recover my health. Initially, I relied on medication. It didn’t work. I started jogging regularly. It helped just a little, but not completely. After I started a diet free of rice and oily foods, my health stabilized. I eat tubers, eggs, and lots of vegetables and fruits. I feel much better now.

What I’ve been consuming lately has DEFINED me, shaped who I am today. I feel like I’ve been reborn.
MONEY IS NOT ALWAYS MATTER

November 30th, 2025

I was asked to provide outreach on waste management at the household and small to medium-sized enterprise meeting. The outreach was for a small group of women entrepreneurs in the food and beverage production. I agreed, even though the event was held on Sunday, my day off. Actually, I could have asked my staff to conduct the outreach, but I decided to do it myself because I had nothing else to do that day.

The next day, the contact person informed me that they couldn’t provide a proper incentive for my services. This meant they would pay me less.
This information bothered me for days.

I did not mind being underpaid, but I wished they hadn’t told me that. My sincere desire to share knowledge was now filled with questions. Why would they pay me less? Did they not have enough funds to carry out the activity? Or were they only trying to steal the money so they could use it for themselves?

I wouldn’t have minded at all, regardless of how much they gave me. Even if they didn’t, it wouldn’t have mattered, because I had ever worked without being paid as a resource person. I’d only been given a plaque as a reward.

I believe that whatever I receive is my sustenance. Unless there’s a formal employment contract that specifies the honorarium I receive and the specific tasks I’m expected to perform. In that case, I will sue my right.

But this event was a semi-social activity. Of course, I understand their limitations.

I came to the meeting after much thought. I resolved my own questions. I reminded myself that sincerity in doing something is crucial. Never do something solely for material rewards. If you only focus on material gain, you won’t find happiness or satisfaction in the activity.

The event ultimately went well. I was pleased with the response to my outreach. I met the sincere young lecturers who initiated the meeting (I commend their passion for service), and the small business owners who were intrigued by the material I presented. My doubts were dispelled.

Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God).
SACRIFICE FOR THE GOOD OF ALL

November 28th, 2025

I’m reevaluating my perspective on life’s trials. Trials are not punishment from God or Allah. Trials are not humiliation. There may be a path on a human journey to become wiser and cultivate a sense of humanity.

A few days ago, a friend told me how his life had fallen apart in recent years. His wife suffered from severe depression and was prone to public violence. He had been humiliated by her several times in front of family, friends, and neighbors. Due to her embarrassing behavior, he decided to reduce social gatherings with neighbors and focus on raising their children.

I felt sorry for him. As a man in an Eastern culture, it would have been easy for him to divorce his wife and rebuild a new life, taking his children with him. However, he rejected the idea. He didn’t want to do that. He was still considering his wife’s situation. Did he truly love her? Not really. He only felt responsible for her. She refused any treatment or medication, but he continued to accept her as she was, which made things difficult for everyone.

I reflected on his case and compared it to the trials in my own life. I’ve had a dozen serious problems or two, and I’ve been plunged into sadness. However, after overcoming those trials, I returned to my routine with renewed vigor. Although my joy was somewhat diminished (I don’t think I’ll ever feel that exuberant joy again), I felt like my life wasn’t that bad.

Of course, my trials were nothing compared to those of my friend. His circumstances were different. However, I learned from him that a sense of responsibility for our own lives and the lives of others (family) can save many lives. He sacrificed himself, but through that sacrifice, he saved the lives of his two children, his sick wife, and his in-laws, who, unfortunately, now live with him.

It takes a great soul to endure such a trial.
NOVEMBER IN ME

November 9th, 2025

August, September, and October have just passed. These are the hottest months in my region, with frequent risk of land fires and worsening weather. In November, it rained, not heavily, but enough to cool the earth.

Many say November doesn’t bring many conveniences. We’re suggested to continue what we’ve been doing, tending to our work, but never asking for more. But I won’t dwell on that. At my age, what more could I want than good health and an abundant livelihood to meet my daily needs?

While mowing my small garden, I remembered how God has blessed me thus far. He’s allowed me to have a family with two intelligent sons, pursue higher education, and earn an income that exceeds the standard of living.

My life has indeed become increasingly lonely. I don’t have friends because I’ve been busy with my own independent activities outside of office hours. That’s my own choice, coming from within. I can join a group of women my age in my neighborhood. I’ve tried socializing, but I haven’t gained anything spiritually and even feel uncomfortable. At home, I can do everything alone, stay productive, and it can improve my mood.

This November, the weather is still hot outside. It rains occasionally, and the air cools down for a while. December might be like that, too. Continuing to live as I did yesterday is a choice, one I wholeheartedly embrace. In it, I find happiness and serenity, even if I sometimes feel tired. Such is the life of those who choose their own environment, hiding from the crowd.

Actually, I have a few friends I’d like to contact, but I’m hesitant; they might also want to be alone on the weekends. I don’t like to bother them, even if it’s just by calling or inviting them to meet and chat at a cafe. I assume they’re like me, even though our tendencies are unlikely to be exactly the same.

One more thing, it’s hard to leave the house once I’ve entered it. There’s a strong magnet here. My home is a nest where I feel both comfortable and bored.

Have you ever felt bored alone at home but didn’t want to go anywhere else or change yourself to be more open to a different atmosphere?
MENIERE’S

November 4th, 2025

I received confirmation from my doctor that the vertigo I’ve been experiencing for almost three months is caused by Meniere’s disease. In addition to vertigo, patients with Meniere’s disease also experience a ringing sensation in the ears, known as tinnitus.

Meniere’s makes me extremely weak, and I lose my enthusiasm for life. The dizziness comes suddenly while I’m at work or wakes me up in the middle of the night because my head is spinning. I usually vomit and have diarrhea. It takes hours for the dizziness to go away. Afterward, I feel exhausted and can’t do anything but lie down and sleep for the rest of the day.

I’ve been diligently checking with my doctor and taking medication, but nothing has helped. I’ve also changed some of my daily habits that trigger the condition, such as drinking less coffee. When I asked the doctor why no progress, she just suggested taking medication and trying to rest.

It’s incredibly frustrating. With no significant progress after two months of treatment, how can I rest? I discussed this with my son, and he suggested I seek a second opinion at a hospital in Malaysia, our neighboring country. My youngest son supported me and agreed to take time off work to go there.

Finally, we went. The three of us—my husband, my youngest son, and I—arrived in the small town where the specialist hospital is located. The hospital correspondent came to the port to pick us up and take us to our hotel. The service was truly excellent. I received invaluable support at a time when my body and mind were weak.

It didn’t stop there. The next morning, we were picked up and taken to the hospital for several tests. My husband had a general examination, while I met with a specialist. All the necessary tests were performed from morning until noon.

I can tell you how refreshing everything was at the hospital. The rooms, the doctors, and the paramedics—there was no rush of patients like I’d experienced in my hometown. Everything was very calm here.

The situation was a stark contrast to what happened at the hospital in my hometown. There were usually more than 20 patients in line, the doctor was often late (she also worked at another hospital), and the nurses called out in a high-pitched voice over the noise in the waiting room. It’s no wonder the doctor wanted to send every patient home as quickly as possible. If a patient asked a lot of questions, she would rush to answer. Whether I was satisfied or not with the answers was up to me.

In the Malaysian hospital, the doctor explained my illness in great detail. I took as much time as I needed. He always smiled and understood my suffering. If hospitals in my country were like that, many Indonesians would certainly not choose to travel abroad for treatment.

I’m currently still undergoing treatment. I have strong hopes that I will recover. If you’re sick and feel like no cure is effective, your mental health will definitely suffer. That’s what I felt some time ago.
Slow Living Without Sacrificing Your Well-Being

November 1st, 2025

Every time I see posts about people practicing Slow Living, everything seems so beautiful and serene. A simple, quiet home, surrounded by lush, natural surroundings, like a miniature paradise.

When I tried to achieve it, it felt different. Difficulty after difficulty arose. These challenges made me wonder and feel anxious: Can I live slowly without sacrificing my well-being and family?

To be honest, living without experiencing luxury requires strong determination. Although I grew up in a modest family, my parents wanted their children to be wealthy. The dream of a comfortable life was deeply ingrained in my soul. Now I have to abandon it and replace it with Slow Living? It’s not that easy, Friend. It’s easier to follow the trend of pretending to be rich than Slow Living.

Slow Living requires special preparation. You should no longer worry about electricity and gas bills, or healthcare, because you have sufficient funds to pay.

A deep talk with my son after praying

You don’t have to worry about paying for plane tickets whenever you want to visit your son or simply enjoy a vacation abroad. You don’t expect financial assistance from others or family.

Slow living doesn’t mean living in poverty. In Slow Living, what you need to control is the desire to show off, live excessively, or compete with others.

People who live slowly absorb life’s experiences deeply, savor their sweetness, and harness their energy to thrive in a world full of controversy and confusion.

I share this because, in my journey of slow living, I’ve found enlightenment. Slow living is a choice; you choose it pleasantly. Not because you are cornered by life.