my thoughts on the environment, travel and life reflections

THE PLEASURE HAS GONE

March 9th, 2025

The shopping spree is no longer a pleasure. I have been away from it for a few years. I feel it is a waste of time, giving me only a momentary pleasure. I now live a slow life, where simplicity is an integral part of it.

Are you familiar with the economic concept known as the Law of Diminishing Returns? I apply this concept to remind myself to be more economical. How can I interpret this law to help control my shopping habits?

I use the analogy below:

If I bought a classy and expensive dress for the first time, my pleasure was expressed as 100%.

When I bought a second dress, did my pleasure become 200%? No, my pleasure might only reach 170%, a decrease of 30% in pleasure for the second item I bought.

And so on. The more I shopped, the less pleasure I felt. I lost, right? My money was reduced. I gave it to the boutique owner.

When I heard the law of diminishing returns, I related it to my own experience. True, pleasure decreases as things become easy to achieve or I have more stuff.

If you want maximum pleasure, choose one thing that you need and love the most. Guaranteed, your pleasure will reach 100%.

You may have a different opinion about this topic. It’s interesting to hear your side.

Have a happy weekend for you, my friends.
RIDHA

March 8th, 2025

My middle name is Ridha.

Referring to Islamic values, Ridha means a sense of satisfaction or contentment with the will of Allah. My parents certainly did not choose that name randomly. They did it with purpose. The name is prayer.

They wanted me to be a sincere woman. Their daughter’s life would be full of twists and turns; as a woman as well as the first child in the family, she was expected to be able to guide her younger siblings.

A “perfect sense of contentment” is too idealistic, right? However, that is my struggle as a human being. That sense of contentment naturally goes up and down.

Oh yes, the name Ridha is quite common in Indonesia. It would be interesting if there was a survey to see if the name helps its owner spiritually to develop a sense of satisfaction in his life.

Since a name is a prayer, it should have an impact on the owner of the name.
PEELING BOILED EGGS

March 7th, 2025

My husband won’t eat boiled eggs if the surface is not smooth, so I have to be careful when peeling the shell so it doesn’t have pits. This is tricky, and the results are often disappointing.

This afternoon, I tried a new method. I boiled two eggs for about 10 minutes until the shells were darker. After removing them from the pan, I dried them for a few minutes, and hot steam was released.

I cracked the shell of the egg in several places to fully release the steam inside. A few minutes later, I peeled it.

Taraa,,,, the results were perfect. Smooth eggs without pits.

Do you have any other tips for peeling boiled eggs? Please share. Many thanks, my friends.
QUESTIONS TO PLAY ME

March 6th, 2025

Daily writing prompt
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
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I don’t like questions that are meant to test me. If the one asking is my teacher or lecturer, it’s okay. He is just doing his job.

However, if the one asking is just to put me down or directly refute my answer, that’s not polite. Why ask questions if you already feel great?
FAILURE KEEPS MANY LESSONS

March 5th, 2025
Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
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Failure teaches many lessons. There are several things one could learn from the failures that happened in life:
1. Failure makes man wiser and more mature. Not everything can be achieved easily. Even though everything has been well prepared, it still fails. However, if you look around, many people experience the same, even worse conditions.
2. Failure may mean that the thing you dream of is not destined for you to have. The Qur’an says:
“Perhaps you dislike something good for you and like something bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know.” Surah Al-Baqara : 216

That’s why we asked Allah for guidance for the best.
1. Failure teaches you that you are not perfect. Above the sky, there is still the sky. This recognition can help you to become a humble person and continue to improve your quality.
DON’T BE FOOLED BY MY SOFTNESS

March 4th, 2025

Daily writing prompt
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
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It’s hard to answer this question. Frankly, I have no plan yet to write an autobiography.

I understand that most readers judge a book from the first page before deciding whether to continue reading or stop immediately. If I start writing an autobiography, the opening sentence must be interesting and invite the reader to continue reading.

It is unusual to write a surprise at the beginning of a book. For example, a description of the incident before I entered the operating room and the anxiety of my family members at that time. Isn’t it strange if a sentence like this is in the first paragraph?

It’s better if I write the opening sentences with a strong message. It may be like this.

Most people who first meet me assume that I am a soft obedient woman, motherly, the ideal woman for men who adhere to patriarchal beliefs.

However, that is not entirely true. My life journey for the past 45 years has taught me that each woman has her own character. That prototype is wrong.
THE THREE SUPPLEMENT FOR BREAK FASTING

March 3rd, 2025
Daily writing prompt
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
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I am fasting for 30 days of Ramadan. Regarding this fast, I always have three foods available when eating Sahur (early breakfast) or breaking the fast:
1. a cup of warm tea
2. fruits or pudding
3. vitamin D or B complex supplements.
All three rekindle my spirit after not eating or drinking for about 12 hours. After that, I eat rice with side dishes rich in protein and vegetables.
MARRIAGE IS NOT SCARY

March 2nd, 2025

Marriage is a journey that teaches me many lessons and inspires me to keep growing, I entered this stage of life at 24 as a woman who was innocent and had limited experience with men.

My husband was the first man in my adult life. I only knew the character of a man like my father who was patient, generous, and loving to his children.

I had never taken a marriage course, and at that time, it didn’t seem necessary. I viewed marriage as just a part of life—what was there to study? Hahaha… how naive I was, right?

I was optimistic, thinking my life would be perfect with no fights and no sadness. But reality slapped me.

My man was not as I imagined. My husband has a different nature from my father. That became a source of disappointment for me. I felt like I was being cheated on raw.

Indeed, we never talked seriously about how to manage a marriage, how to manage finances, and the children who would be born. My husband imitated his father’s figure, while I considered my father as my ideal man. It was a heavy blow that shook the household for years.

I am not alone. Many married women around me also complained about the pressures of the differences in views in managing the household between husband and wife. In my time, divorce was a shameful thing. We had to maintain our household even though there were many disputes.

Reflecting on my life, I am grateful to be able to survive in marriage.

Oh..but you suffer, do you?

Maybe that’s someone else’s comment who doesn’t know the journey my husband and I went through until we reached 30 years of marriage.

Yes, there were times when I suffered from accepting my husband’s character. But he also experienced the same thing. Who knows whose burden of suffering was the heaviest. Only God knows.

Marriage is not scary.

We received a valuable gift from our patience in nurturing our marriage. Our two children have grown up in a normal and happy family environment.

I also had a chance to school and develop professional work. I can build myself without the shadow of my husband. Marriage has many sides, the fun and the not, the boring and the exciting. On the whole, more positives than bad ones.

Thank you my friend for reading my point of view.

Wish you all the best.
FATE IS NOT THE END

March 1st, 2025

Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
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Both struggle and destiny shape a person’s future. I believe this not only because of cultural or religious teachings but also because I have experienced it myself.

For approximately 40 years of my life as an adult, I have learned how to work, study, and adapt well to the surrounding environment. In some cases, I was able to achieve the expected results, but in others, I failed. Destiny is the determining factor.

Destiny plays a role in determining the results of efforts, but it also plays a role in other things. For example, meeting someone I had not planned changed my views or decisions about something.

I believe that humans cannot fully define their true selves. The combination of excess personal traits, opportunities, varying environments, and other unseen factors influences their direction in life.

In Islam, there is good advice about struggle and destiny.

Develop the mindset of Tawakkal in you. Tawakkal means surrendering all affairs to Allah SWT after trying your best.

Tawakkal will empower you, restoring your energy to fight and instilling the belief that a better fate awaits you somewhere in the future.

To all my friends fasting this month of Ramadan, I wish you the best of luck. Have a great weekend, all my readers.
A CONTEMPLATIVE LIFE OF A TEENAGER

February 28th, 2025

There was a time when I was busy with myself. I discussed everything I saw and felt with myself and wrote it down in a diary. It happened during my teenage years, especially in high school.

That was the time that I still remember with longing.

After that time passed, or during my time as a university student, I entered a new phase of life. I was asked to fulfill some new norms.

While I needed to meet high academic targets, I also had to adjust to people from different regions, considering their opinions to be perceived as friendly and sociable. Additionally, my parents were very protective of me, as they feared I might become involved in unhealthy relationships.

If I had been left to grow up alone as I did during my teenage years, maybe I would have become a different and unique person. However, I grew up in a strict Eastern culture. I was forced to obey social and family rules that made me sacrifice some of my freedom of thought and behavior.

I’m sorry, my friends; I always feel sentimental whenever I remember it.

Yet, I accept the life I lead and do not have any regrets. I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to be a better person. Despite facing limitations, I managed to navigate all phases of my life well. I draw wisdom from every experience I encounter.